A Second-Hand Christmas

So, my dear sweet husband was sent to San Antonio for a week for work. I ponied up the cash to make a weekend trip so am there now... currently watching a movie from our hotel room. We've run around a bit, though it's been cold and rainy. We're going back to the Riverwalk tonight to see the lights and eat dinner.

Fortunately we've been able to get a bit of Christmas shopping done. We've even kept (mostly) with the family Christmas Rules. Yes, we do have "Christmas Rules" of sorts. We've debated over the years of the best way to handle Christmas given our growing family. We've finally settled on a Second-hand Christmas. It's awesome. The best way to describe it is that all gifts have to be used. So, you could give something from your home that you think someone else would enjoy. I really like it when I can give someone something from my home that they've specifically asked for... a movie, a book, something I'm not using but still has value.You can also make use of second-hand stores, used book stores, garage sales, etc.

Usually there are great stories accompanying the gifts like, "guess where I found that?" and "I got quite a deal on that!" It's lots of fun. I'd give you some examples of the gifts we've found this year, but I'd hate to spoil the surprises.

We've also done the "homemade" Christmas before. It's been less successful. One year we did that, most everyone in the family received an "IOU" gift. (I received my ACTUAL gift two years after that.) So, now we do a bit of a hodge-podge. I am trying to make one gift, but we'll see if it gets done by Christmas.

Okay... John's requesting a hot chocolate from downstairs. I wouldn't mind refreshing my coffee either. I hope your Christmas season is going well. Do me a favor... enjoy the gift buying/giving, but don't forget the TRUE gift this Christmas: God's gift to us of his son, Jesus.

Reminders

Permit me a few lines from my favorite poet, Billy Collins:

"me with my presumptuous breathing,
my arrogant need for coffee,
my love of the colorful leaves beyond the windows."

For whatever reason tonight, these lines reminded me of my neglected blog. Maybe it's the creativity of poetry that drove me back. Maybe it's just that so much has happened in these last three months that I finally have something to say about it. Maybe it's just the first time I've really sat down to rest for awhile. Regardless, here I am... propped up in bed, hands on laptop, enjoying the humming of the clothes dryer and the serenity of this moment.

But what to say? I'm not quite sure.

I could talk about my new-ish NOOK.... about how John and I were agreeing together how sad it is that hard copy books are now being out-sold by e-books... and about how within moments of voicing those sentiments we were at Barnes & Noble admiring the NOOKs and talking about how nice they would be for traveling. We bought not one but TWO. And though I haven't finished reading a single book on mine, I do enjoy the portability of it. (I'd like to note that since buying the NOOK I have purchased a "legacy" book online... a compilation of Billy Collins poems, a belated birthday present from a friend (via an amazon gift card).

I could tell you what little I know of married life. So far, so good! :) I think I had enough wisdom to know (before getting married) that married life is not some Shangrila where suddenly everything is blissful and poop doesn't stink. (It still does.) But, a few notes about walking through a new marriage and the joining of lives:

1) We felt really celebrated as people. John and I both remarked a number of times about how blessed we are to have such wonderful friends. My bachelorette party was particularly fun. I enjoyed the time with my girlfriends and being "showered" with gifts/advice/well-wishes. I remember leaving that night thinking, "EVERY girl should feel celebrated like this"... single, married, getting married... EVERY girl.

2) Married life is lovely... or, rather, has some lovely things about it. I remember telling John that I hadn't felt that deep achy, lonely feeling since we started dating. That feeling SUCKS. It absolutely sucks. But, over and over as we were moving toward our wedding, I had (well-meaning) friends make comments about "this is your best year yet" and similar comments. I appreciated the sentiments, but sometimes I felt like those comments served as a slap-in-the-face to the other 36 years of my life. I've had some GREAT years. This will be another GREAT year... definitely full of firsts. But, don't downplay the rest of my life. God blessed me richly in those years as well... whether I recognized it at the time or not.  ;)

3) Single friends - don't dispair. There are some nice things about marriage, but there are some equally nice things about being single. I'll wait until later to expound on those. But... enjoy your single days, my friends. They really are a beautiful gift - straight from the hand of God.

4) I'm done lecturing... for now.

True Love

Psalm 27:4

"One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: to dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and seek him in his temple."

I read Psalm 27 this morning, because it's 27 days now until my wedding. I smiled when I realized I was reading Psalm 27, because I remember a specific time in college when I read that Psalm. It talks so much about the love and protection of God. I remember reading it back then and realizing that the things I often longed for in a man (a husband) had already been provided for me in Christ: beauty, desire, protection, joy, companionship, salvation, comfort, attention and help. I also remember telling my Mom that I had fallen in love... fallen in love with Christ.

My challenge now - 27 days out from one of the deepest desires of my heart - is to remember that none of those things can be fully met in any human person. And expecting all those things from my soon-to-be husband would result in failure and disappointment.

God, help me remember to seek your face. Realizing that YOU are my Provider, my Comforter and my Joy will free up my husband to work toward loving me in the same ways.

Garden Update

The garden is quickly dying. (I heard a rumor that may happen if you don't water those things.) But, we spent a little bit of time out there yesterday trying to de-weed and water the garden. We made a few delightful discoveries...

Our first green pepper has made an appearance!! I'm not sure if this picture accurately captures the scale, but right now our little friend is about the size of a nickel. (Might be difficult to stuff that sucker.)

There are actually two little green tomatoes hanging out there.

I've already harvested TWO red tomatoes. Yumsters!

Another tomato on the second plant!



We didn't think the basil was going to make it, but now it's thriving!

Rosemary! I've used a bit on some chicken and potatoes. Mmmmm...

Our potato plants had died, but Becky wisely went digging anyway. It's not what I'd call a "banner" crop, but looks like we can have some green beans and new potatoes! Can't wait!!

Our li'l taters, all cleaned up and ready for the feast!



So far we've used the following from our garden:

Two red tomatoes - one I prepared with basil and mozzarella, the second I cut up with a couple of store bought tomatoes to make Navajo Tacos.

Green onion, garlic, cilantro - used in some homemade grape salsa

Basil & rosemary - general cooking/use

Mint - added some to some sweet tea the other day

Can't wait to: fix the potatoes above, use our first green pepper, harvest (hopefully) some squash, use some mint in a fruit salad and eat the other tomatoes once they ripen. Overall... not a bad experiment for the summer!

Poop, in Mixed Media

"Well, it probably wasn't in MIXED media. To be honest, I'm not sure what the medium was. Hopefully it wasn't the medium it implied."

Those have been my thoughts every day that I've climbed the stairs of my parking garage at work. Half-way up to the third level, the word "poop" was scrawled in some kind of brown substance on the white-washed wall just under the hand rail. I also thought every day that I should bring my camera and take a picture of the crude artwork. Unfortunately, the other day (after a number of weeks of being there) it disappeared. Wonder who got the job of scrubbing that off?!  ;)

Timing

Have I mentioned before how I believe that our "bad timing" (of which I've had PLENTY of over the years) is really just God's PERFECT timing working itself out in our lives? God's cool like that.

He's been so good to me... saved me from lots of crazy things I thought I wanted in my timing... and saved me FOR some really amazing things in His timing.

What to Do When the Magic Ends

So, I bought my first electronic toothbrush several weeks back. To be quite honest, I really do like it. But, it concerns me a bit. I think it probably does a better job of brushing my teeth, but it cost about $100 before the mail-in-rebates (that I actually do intend to send off for) but after the 20% coupon for Bed Bath & Beyond. And, the heads, which you're supposed to change every three months or so, are pretty pricey, too. That's all up from the FREE toothbrush I would get from my dentist every 6 months. It's not so much that I mind the "continual improvement" that's so highly valued in our culture. I'm just not sure where it ends. Most likely?... in debt. :(  I do like the way it seems to clean my teeth, though. The vibrating action is somewhat addictive, but it always catches me off-guard when it stops. Suddenly the toothbrush is transformed back into the plain old toothbrush I've used my entire life. It's as if the magic has ended.

Reminds me of a conversation I had recently with a friend. We were debating the importance of married couples maintaining a "date night." I would assume at some point, marriage dulls the initial excitement that couples feel in dating. It's probably easy to look back over the years and wonder where the magic has gone. It's not unlike the church in Ephesus that John mentions in Revelation 2... "You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen!" But then he admonishes them, "Repent and do the things you did at first."

Good reminders for all of us: Turn the toothbrush back on. Chase hard after Christ. Take your wife on a date.

A Night at the Ballet

So I'm going to the ballet in just a few. (Will probably have to finish this post after, in fact.) I have a friend who has a young daughter, Audrey, who has a recital tonight. I'm not completely sure I've been to a ballet recital. But, I figure little girls twirling in tutus has to be pretty entertaining.

On with the show!

My First Garden

We have a garden. I took these pictures several weeks back, so things have changed a bit since then. But, just this week, I picked some green onions and cilantro and made some grape salsa. Yumsters! First garden success. We'll cross our fingers for the rest of the harvest!

Unfortunately, we didn't harvest our broccoli before it flowered.

This would have been good for about, oh... one bite.  ;)

Green onions...

 Potatoes! Mom... there's no more dirt to cover them up with.

What to do, what to do?



Nice li'l patch! This replaced the wild flower garden, which was rumored to
"take care of itself," and the previous turtle abode.

Flower garden that borders the deck...  

Unbelievable, really...

I could go on and on and on and on about this past week, but I'll leave it at this... God loves me. He wants good things for me. He longs to give me the desires of my heart.

It's nice to be reminded.  :)

Trust vs. Worry

From my journal earlier this year:

1/30/11

I used to worry a lot more than I do now. In fact, I feel like fear may have destroyed some relationships in my life. I was so busy worrying about what they were not that I didn't enjoy what they were. So, I've put worry behind me... to a great extent. But, I do sometimes fear loss and the future. I was wondering this morning what it is that I'm most afriad of. I think that I'm most afraid of being alone... not so much now but at some unspecified point in the future. I'm afraid of growing old and having no one around me. I'm afraid of having no spouse and no kids. I'm afraid of life passing me right by.

But, what's the worst thing that would happen? I get to enjoy my friends and do whatever I feel like doing... whatever incredible things God calls me to.

...

Papa,

You know the deepest desires of my heart. If those aren't of you, please take them from me and replace them with your desires. If they are pleasing to you, give me patience to wait on your timing. Help me be bold when I need to be and passive when I need to be. Don't let me destroy the blessings of friendships in my life by trying to force them to be something they were never meant to be.

I do trust you. And I will continue to do so. Help me in knowing how to best guard my heart.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."  ~  Proverbs 4:23

Mushrooms

I really enjoy fresh mushrooms on my salads. It's a new thing... the last year or so. They're particularly good on a salad with blue cheese and strawberries, among other things. What's funny is that every once in awhile I taste them and think, "wow, these taste exactly like.... mushrooms."

I know that's ridiculous, but that really is what I think. I guess most of my life up until now, I've only really had canned mushrooms that I might buy to put on pizza. And, for the most part, fresh mushrooms are so different from those mushrooms. But, every once in awhile, they match up... and the "new" fresh mushrooms connect me back to the mushrooms I grew up with.

Commit Your Life to a Multiplying Community

Who knew this might be the most challenging point for me! I've been bouncing around churches the last year-plus. I've been attending a larger church most recently... very consistently for several months now. But, I haven't taken much of any step to get involved. And to be honest, I'm not sure it's a place I could see myself long-term. I enjoy the sermons very much, but otherwise, I'm probably not a huge fan of the ministry style/philosophy. For the last couple of years, I think I've learned more about my personal (and Biblical) views on the purpose of the church, though I also believe God uses a variety of different church models and ministry styles to reach people who don't yet know Him.

What I miss most from my previous church home is the ability for the church (or at least the core members/attenders) to sit around in one room and be able to dream together about the ministry to which God has called us. There's nothing quite like the sense of common purpose and unity in Spirit that comes from seeking Christ together and being on mission together. It seems to me like that's most effective in a smaller context.

I do feel like God is orchestrating this next step in my faith journey. I'm not sure yet what form it will take or how quickly it will happen, but I'm definitely excited about committing myself to a multiplying community.

Spend Your Time in Another Context

David Platt encourages his readers to spend 2% of their coming year (approximately 1 week) serving in another context. That could be on an overseas mission trip or simply an area of town that gets someone out of his/her comfort zone.

I love traveling, so an overseas trip seems like a logical choice; however, I have to check my motivation sometimes for taking trips like that. Though regardless of my motivation, I've always been challenged as a result of trips like that. Challenged and humbled. There are so many needs around the world. When I'm comfy at home, I barely even recognize those needs.

Another option: homeless ministry. I have some friends who have been going out to a local park every Thursday night for the past two years simply to have dinner with some of our city's homeless (or less-fortunate... as many of them have some place to stay). It's been an eye-opening experience, though I've been very inconsistent at going... here and there... as it's convenient.

Another context: Children's ministry?! ;) Surprising as it is, I was thinking here recently how much I've enjoyed my nieces when they've been in the 2-3 year old range. I wonder what it would be like to help with some pre-school aged kids either in a church or other context. That would definitely be out of my comfort zone. But, I think I might really enjoy it.

Sacrifice Your Money for a Specific Purpose

To be honest, I think I'm a little weird here. I'm pretty consistent at giving (tithing... and even beyond). That being said, giving SACRIFICIALLY is something all together different. It's easy to give when there's "excess." It's much more difficult when it cuts into my comfortable living.

I haven't been plugged into a specific church for awhile, so I've been challenged to know WHERE to give. I've been setting amounts aside and giving them as I feel led. It's been fun in some ways, I've still been giving through some churches I've been attending, but it's been fun to direct some of my "offerings" to individuals in need, missions and other special projects. It's a different feeling being able to see the final recipient of a gift. When I give through a church, I don't always get to see how those dollars are used (which is good in terms of requiring faith in God and church leaders to direct those funds). So, giving to smaller organizations and people provides a different kind of satisfaction. It's much more tangible.

Ideas for giving...

The purpose: foreign missions, homeless ministry, sponsor a child. I have an idea related to a specific individual, too.

The sacrifice: drop the little bit of cable I currently have ($15/mo), sell something... not sure what that would be, though. I actually keep a fairly trim budget. Maybe, at this point, it makes more sense to just DIRECT the funds I'm currently setting aside for giving? Or am I just rationalizing my own selfishness. Hrmmm...

To do items: email a friend to get an idea. Check.

Read Through the Entire Word

Good challenge. I really think there's nothing MORE important to read, and yet... I often find myself reading everything EXCEPT God's Word. I have read the entire Word. I'm embarrassed to say it took me several years, but I just kept working my way through a One Year Bible and finally made it to the end. I was back up through May last year when our small group decided to read it together. Fortunately it was right about May, so I picked up with them and read fairly consistently, though I know I skipped through a few sections to stay up with them. Regardless. I may pick up in May again and read through the end. No specific plan yet, though, which usually means trouble. Here are some ideas...

MORNING - I could get up early to read, though I have conflicts several mornings a week (unless I get up even earlier than early).

EVENINGS - Might be okay, but they can be sporadically busy. I do often watch TV before going to bed. I enjoy that routine, but that definitely isn't as important as being in God's Word. Reminds me that in high school that's when I did my most consistent Bible reading. Any better options?

LUNCH - I think that would be difficult and inconsistent... though I might be able to pull others in with me.

SPORADIC/WEEKENDS - Last year with our small group, I would find two or three times a week to hunker down and read several days worth in one sitting. That might be a possibility, but it tends to be inconsistent and easy to fall behind.

DAILY - Seems like a daily routine is more sustaining. I eat of food regularly... might as well do the same with my "daily bread."

Evenings sound like the best bet. If you're reading this now... be sure and ask me how I'm doing.

Reading tonight: in Deuteronomy & Luke (might as well pick up on April 4th)
Praying for: the country of Chile

Pray for the Entire World

Sounds overwhelming, doesn't it?! Okay, so to be completely honest, I don't pray enough anyway, But, in order to pray for the world, Platt recommended a website... Operation World. What struck me as highly ironic is that I accidentally wandered across this site not more than a couple of weeks ago. I was randomly looking up information online about Croatia (my family's homeland... back three generations). Croatia is just one of the countries included on the daily prayer list there.

So, even a couple of weeks ago, God's Spirit seemed to be leading me there. I began April 1st and have prayed so far for Central African Republic and Botswana. (Botswana seemed to be the country for both April 2nd and 3rd.) I've been praying for not only the people there, but also that God would raise up workers to send out into the field, for (as you may know) the fields are ripe unto harvest.

As a bonus... it may be good for honing my substandard geogrphy skills.

Winds of Change

The wind is crazy today. Even here inside my house, I feel like I have a thin layer of dust all over my body. I think some storms may roll in later. I absolutely LOVE storms. Maybe not storms that cause me to fear for my life, but I do love a good old fashioned thunderstorm. Rain, thunder, lightening. Ah... but for now we just have wind... and LOTS of it.

I just finished reading David Platt's book "Radical." Good read. I highly recommend it. That being said, I realized toward the end of the book that it's easy to read challenging books, dream of "radical" change in my life and then turn around to simply read another challenging book that will do the same. Fortunately this one challenges me to pursue the same things (for the most part) I'm naturally inclined to pursue... just fail at sometimes. Here is primary (five-part) gauntlet Platt throws down:

1. pray for the entire world;
2. read through the entire Word;
3. sacrifice your money for a specific purpose;
4. spend your time in another context;
5. commit your life to a multiplying community.

Since I have a lot to say on each of these, I'll spend the next five posts doing specifically that.

I'm as Shocked as You Are

So, it's crazy, isn't it?! I've had this blog for over six years now, and this is the first time I've ever given it a face lift. It was a little too easy, though, so I'm afraid it could now change with every whim and mood shift.

"Let's check the mood-o-meter!"

But, it's kind of a nice change, if you ask me. I've a feeling change is in the air anyway...

My Life on a (Virtual) Piece of Paper

There are nights like this, when I nearly believe it's possible to sit down and express the whole of my being - every feeling I'm feeling, every hope I have, every doubt, every struggle, every longing. It never fails, though. I sit down to type and realize that I could never possibly come close to capturing the totality of what it is to be me at this moment. Sure, I could describe some of my fears or my secret thoughts, as I've done a few times before; however, they are woefully inadequate to sum up my life. Isn't that what we all secretly want, though? To be known? To be understood? To be loved because of, or in spite of, those things?

It reminds me of something Donald Miller wrote about in his book, Blue Like Jazz: "There are some places only God can go." Maybe it's enough to know that.

Gardening

My roommate got this idea in her head that she wanted to plant a garden. So, I let her dig up the "wild flower" garden in my back yard. She's done all the (literal) groundwork, but I helped her get some of the vegetables in the ground this past weekend. Here's what we've planted:

tomatoes, broccoli, green peppers, squash, garlic, green onions, jalapeno peppers, potatoes, cilantro, mint, rosemary and basil

Just a couple items to get us started.  ;) We'll see how long we can keep it all alive.

In addition, I picked up a few flowers: a geranium, creeping phlox and an African violet.

It's all Spring-like around the house!

David Platt, "Radical"

"We are giving in to the dangerous temptation to take the Jesus of the Bible and twist him into a version of Jesus we are more comfortable with.

A nice, middle-class, American Jesus. A Jesus who doesn't mind materialism and who would never call us to give away everything we have. A Jesus who would not expect us to forsake our closest relationships so that he receives all our affection. A Jesus who is fine with nominal devotion that does not infringe on our comforts, because, after all, he loves us just the way we are. A Jesus who wants us to be balanced, who wants us to avoid dangerous extremes, and who, for that matter, wants us to avoid danger altogether. A Jesus who brings us comfort and prosperity as we live out our Christian spin on the American dream.

But do you and I realize what we are doing at this point? We are molding Jesus into our image. He is beginning to look a lot like us because, after all, that is whom we are most comfortable with. And the danger now is that when we gather in our church buildings to sing and lift up our hands in worship, we may not actually be worshiping the Jesus of the Bible. Instead we may be worshiping ourselves."

Daffodils

So we have a bunch of daffodils in a vase on the dining room table. They're from the "wildflower" garden... or what was once the "wildflower" garden. It's soon to be a vegetable garden proper. Becky, my roommate, has done most of the ground work (literally). Now it's up to us to decide what to plant, how to plant it and how to keep it alive. Wish us luck!

(I'd post a pick of the daffodils, but I'm too tired. Plus... you know what daffodils look like.)

Media Update

Currently reading:

"A Tale of Two Cities" - Dickens
"Here and Now" - Henry Nouwen

In the queue:

"Radical" - David Platt

Currently watching:

"The Money Pit" - Old School Tom Hanks / Shelley Long

Need to be doing currently:

Sleeping

Eyes Half Shut

So I'm tired. It's been a busy week. I'm not specifically affected by busy season, but it's kept me running anyway. There are a ton of projects I need to accomplish in the next couple of months that would make my (work) life a hundred times easier. So, I'm plugging away... hoping to make some headway.

It's been a rough-ish couple of weeks. I think my small group is going to stop meeting. It was only a matter of time, so I'm not completely caught off-guard by it. But, I figure I've been leading (involved, at the very least) small groups pretty much non-stop for the last 10+ years. Although they get wearing at times, I enjoy hosting, leading discussions and loving on people. The nights I'm most worn down going in, I seem to come out most blessed. But, in this season of life, that group has probably been a bit of a crutch for me. As long as I've had that community, I haven't felt the same desire/need to find a new Christian community. So, I'm feeling temporarily disconnected. I know that's mostly in my head, because I could pick up the phone any time if I had a need or wanted to get together. But, it makes me feel like a balloon... floating alone... off into space... without someone to catch my string and pull me back down.

I've also been reminded that some things in life NEVER change.  :)  I'm being a bit facetious, of course. A friend suggested the other day that part of the reason I'm single (not his exact words) is the age of the guys I hang out with. What?! Anyway, it made me consider the age range of the guys I've dated (sometimes briefly). Oldest: maybe six or seven years older.Youngest: not quite ten years younger. Preference: I always imagined I'd be with someone about two years older. Oh well... who knows? I sure don't. I do remember a couple of ladies in my small groups of yesteryears who were pushing 40. They seemed to be distraught over not being married and not having kids. To be honest, part of me wanted to tell them, "maybe you should start to accept the fact that those things may never happen for you." I wonder how many people secretly want to tell me the same.

All that being said, one of the ladies in my accounting group at work told me that her sister says if she had it to do again, she wouldn't have gotten re-married. She apparently has a great husband, too, but she's independent and just misses that aspect of being single. Isn't it true of all of us? We all want what we can't (or don't) have.  :)

Mississippi Mud a la Tonka

It's been a rough week at work. That makes it difficult to go to bed, because I know I'll just be getting up to go back again. It's not that I don't enjoy my job... just a stressful week dealing with clients regarding collection issues. 

Anyway, I was just thinking of a restaurant in Kansas City, MO... located in the Country Club Plaza. It's a little restaurant/bar called "Tomfooleries." It has a train that runs along a track above the tables and bar, which is pretty awesome. The other fun thing is its signature dessert, "Mississippi Mud a la Tonka." It's a Mississippi Mud dessert that is served in the back of a Tonka truck. I haven't had it in years, but I have a friend who lives right up the hill from it. I may have to wander down there again next time I'm up that way.

Arguments

So Superman is on TV... the old 1978 movie. They've made some amazing improvements in special effects since then.  ;) But, I texted my sister, initially thinking it was Superman II, which lead to this blog post. My sister and I have had some random arguments over the years. I thought I'd tell you about a few of them.

The "Superman II" argument

When I was still fairly young, my dad built us a new house. While it was being built, we lived in a duplex in town and were able to get cable television for the first time ever. During that eighteen months, Superman II was on pretty much non-stop. In fact, we had ever line memorized. To be honest, I don't recall the exact argument. I think we fought about whether Lois Lane INTENTIONALLY or UNINTENTIONALLY fell into Niagara Falls and subsequently had to be rescued by Superman. Thinking back, it had to be intentional, because she was testing her theory as to whether her new husband, Clark Kent, was, in fact, Sueprman. So, surely that was my position in the argument.  ;)

The "Cute, White Little Teddy Bear" Argument

My sister and I both claimed it. I couldn't even tell you where it is now. (She probably has it!)

The Infamous "Almond Peanuts" Argument

This one lives on. Michelle and I still argue about it. She was telling me one time about these new "almond peanuts," which, of course, made absolutely no sense to me. Finally it came out that she was really talking about the new "Almond M&Ms." She SWEARS she was saying "Almond M&Ms" the whole time, but I don't believe her. Which would confuse you more... "almond peanuts" or "Almond M&Ms." Really.

I'm sure we've had more arguments than that, but these are my favorite, mostly unresolved, arguments. :) Love you, Sis!

Ah... Superman is finally SUPERMAN. Let the fun begin!

NYE

Ha... I'm watching an episode of "How I Met Your Mother." It's the "New Year's Eve" party episode, and Barney has an incredible line toward the end... "Ted, give it a rest. Stop trying to turn this night into anything more that what it is, which is New Year's Eve... which is the single biggest letdown of a night every single year."

So true, so true. Though, just like Valentine's Day, every once in awhile, I get surprised.  :)

Adendum: Godliness vs Contentment

As I was thinking about it a bit more this morning, it dawned on me that I can strive for godliness, but I won't fully reach it here on Earth. I wonder if that helps confirm the second part of that verse? I can, and SHOULD, strive for contement now, but I won't fully be content until I'm in the presence of my true soul's delight. LORD, hasten that day!  :)

In the meantime, I will often be left wanting. And, maybe it's helpful to know that, so I'm not putting that weight on someone who could never really fulfill that anyway.

Being Content in All Circumstances

I've grown up being frustrated by my own lack of contentment. Now, granted, there's the verse in the Bible that says, "Godliness with contentment is great gain" (I Tim. 6:6). True, true. I won't argue with that. However, I have a sense that "I'll be content when..."

I've begun to wonder if there isn't some benefit to being discontent. Doesn't being discontent help to remind me that I'll never be fully content here on Earth? In fact, maybe it's my lack of contentment that actually points me to God. If I were fully satisfied with my own life, I may never seek Him... the one person who can ultimately satisfy.

So, I offer my discontent to God, along with the desires of my heart. And I also have a sense that, regardless of my future, content or no, I'll be alright. And, even in my discontent, God will be faithful.

Welcome to SNOWklahoma!

It's been one crazy week! We got about 13" of snow on Tuesday and have been pretty much homebound ever since. Tulsa doesn't get too much snow, so the roads are STILL snow packed, and it's been pretty treacherous trying to get around. Fortunate John has helped out a lot with his four-wheel drive truck. He's occasionally brought food and chauffered us around. He and Becky helped me clear the sidewalk and driveway, too. I finally got out today, because I felt guilted by an email from our managing partner yesterday announcing the office was up and running. (After making the dicey trip over there, I realized he hasn't made it to the office once this week.) Anyway, it was a difficult trek this morning, but it was snowing pretty good at lunch time, and they upped the expected snowfall to 4-6 inches. At that point, I took out and resumed my working from home. That's AFTER I helped dig several cars out of the snow in front of my house. I did get to meet a handsome neighbor of mine who lives around the loop from me. I love the new sense of community in Tulsa in the midst of weather crises!

Speaking of crises... here are some of my favorite terms for this snow storm:

Blizzaster
Snowmageddon
Snowpocalypse
Blizzard of Oz (for my favorite neighbors to the north)
Snowklahoma (for my Okie homies)

So, work has been a bit challenging. I definitely haven't gotten a full eight hours in any day this week. But, it's been nice to work from home and get to commisserate with friends about snow, life and our favorite TV shows. Oh yes... Happy (belated) Groundhog Day! I did celebrate by watching the movie. It's a classic!

That's about it for now. I'm packing and preparing for the warmer, welcome-weather of the Western Carribbean. :) Weather permitting, I'm headed there tomorrow morning. Have a good week, peeps. I'm goin' dark.

Thunder Snow!

Well, I'm sitting here waiting for the blizzard to hit... as promised. Seriously... Tulsa is under a BLIZZARD WARNING. I didn't know there WAS such a thing. Apparently it's only the second blizzard warning in Tulsa's history. There's some rumbley thunder right now... which is totally awesome. I'm almost tempted to turn off the TV just to listen to the thunder snow (thunder sleet right now, actually).

I just hope it's not another ice storm where I'm without electricity for twelve days. But, I'm more than ready to work from home for a day or two and enjoy some of the hunker-down community of those days.
Lightning, too! This blizzard is awesome! :) It's going to be difficult to go to sleep tonight. Way too excited.

Nail-Biting Fear

I can think of all kinds of whitty things to blog about... until I sit down to blog, that is.  :)

My new favorite breakfast... two small slices of multi-grain bread, toasted under the broiler for a few minutes, topped with Nutella and eaten with banana slices and a cup of coffee.  Yummers!

I got up early enough to attend an early service at LifeChurch. I have a few friends there, which makes it a nice alternative at the moment, even though I ended up sitting by myself. "Chrissy" and her kids/entourage came and sat right by me, which I thought was funny given all the vast amounts of open space in that service. But, I didn't mind. It was nice having someone to sit with... even if it was a total stranger. For one of the first times since I've visited, they actually gave us a moment to greet those around us. It was loud, so I didn't get any names (except for Chrissy's), but it did make for a more friendly feel.

The music was fine... way too loud, crazy flashing lights, smoke machine (bleh). I remember visiting a LC in Owasso and realizing that my criticisms of it were all indictments of my own church at the time (the one I worked for and had invested years of my life). I found it funny this morning that I was sitting there, through all of the fuss, waiting for a video sermon from Craig Groeschel. It made me wonder if I had made those worship-related things too big of an issue or if I had just grown calloused and no longer cared. Or, maybe I can tolerate it differently given I have no current responsibility or involvement in it... other than as a casual observer. It's something to think about anyway. It made me wonder if I could sing on a praise time like that. It's gotta be even louder up on that stage!

Regardless, the message was great, as per normal. I really do enjoy listening to Craig's sermons. I've never been too excited to listen to sermons online, but I will occasionally pull up one of his sermons randomly at home... especially if I want to hear something on a particular topic. He's covered the gambit. He seems really transparent to me, which is funny given I've never met or even seen the man in real life.

This morning he talked about fear. He said that our fears reveal the things that are most important to us... as well as the things in which we trust God the least. (Ouch!) But, it's true. I came home and journaled about some of my fears. I would include those here, but I think I'll keep the details of those to myself. Oh, and for those of you wondering, no... I didn't journal about my fear of sharks.  ;)

Better Than Ice Cream

Went to a birthday party for two friends of mine tonight, a husband and wife who have birthdays on two consecutive days in January. I was happy to go, as I've been friends with them both for a number of years now, and I've built an even closer friendship with the woman over the past year or two. I was one of two single adults there. The rest of the party was made up of their married couple friends. They used to all be part of the same small group called "Matrimony."  There was a lot of laughing, and I didn't feel like too much of an interloper.

Valentine's Day is right around the corner, and I'm doing my best to keep a good attitude about it. In fact, my roommate and I are taking the opportunity to host a party for all of our single girlfriends. Should be a fun night, assuming anyone comes. (I think we have four so far.) Understanding the nature of the day, we've asked for RSVPs but have given everyone a graceful "bow out clause" in the case something more enticing comes alone. (We're not idiots.)

In preparation, we've prepared some itunes mix lists of various love songs. I'm critiquing my own list as I write this. One song in my mix is Sarah McLaughlan's "Ice Cream." LOVE IT! I think I first heard it in the movie "Bed of Roses" with Christian Slater and Mary Stuart Masterson. For some unexplainable reason, it's the movie I most enjoy watching on or around Valentine's Day. I can't think of any reason it should tie in with Valentine's Day. Maybe it's because Christian Slater's character owns a flower shop and enjoys delivering flowers to people. Other than that, it's just another predictable love story. But, I need to get it in my Netflix queue. It's been several years since I've watched it.

I guess that's all I had to say. My head hurts, and I have some difficult heart decisions to make.

Sweet Thang

So, there are three primary artificial sweeteners. You have your Sweet & Low, your Equal and your Splenda. You can easily identify them by their distinctive colors - pink, blue and yellow, respectively. What I've noticed is that every restaurant and office seems to have Splenda, and some of them have Equal. But very often, the Sweet & Low has been surreptitiously replaced with another pink packet of sweetener called "Sweet Thing." Do they think no one will notice? Do they think these two sweeteners are really interchangeable?

Maybe it's true. For some reason, I'm drawn toward the comfort of the pink packet. I know it's not Sweet & Low, but it's pink. I guess that's all that matters.

More so, I wonder if the manufacturer of Sweet Thing realizes all of their sales come straight from Sweet & Low's bottom line? Hrmmm...

Productivity

Today I'm thankful for productivity. I've had a lot of things hanging over my head at work. Today, I feel like I put several projects to rest, which means I can re-focus on collections.

I'm thankful that Kari was at Starbucks when I got there. (I was expecting two friends to meet my for bible study. I was unclear in my text, which resulted in them showing up at 8:30 instead of 7:00.)

I'm thankful for the banana I just ate. It's ZERO (WW) points, and it was the perfect ripeness! Mmmmmm.

Speaking of bananas... I really enjoyed the conversation with some friends about banana slugs. I have it on good authority that if you lick one (on it's underbelly), your tongue will go numb. What?!?!  ;)

I'm thankful for a good run with Bobbi. It's been at least a couple of weeks, so it was good to get back out there. And, I'm thankful to have survived it.

I'm thankful for my bed... where I'll be headed shortly. :) G'night... to anyone who may happen to be reading.

Thankfulness

No, it's not Thanksgiving. Our small group talked about JOY last week. Fitting... because it's something I struggle with. We've been reading some of Henri Nouwen's "Here and Now," and he pointed out the interconnection between gratitude and joy. He encourages us to take a few moments to reflect back at the end of every day to all the things we have to be thankful for. In our group, we each took turns sharing one thing we were thankful for from that day. After we all shared, there was a nearly tangible difference in our moods. What was it? I dare say... JOY!!!

So, here's what I have to be thankful for today:
I had a productive day at work. I got to wear the new scarf I made. I lost two more pounds (a total of 7.7 since Jan 1)! I did Zumba and feel physically refreshed. It's 8:30, and I'm already settled down for the evening. I have a nice cup of coffee sitting close.

And then lately... I feel like my house has been transformed. I pulled out an old rug for the living room. A friend brought over a new TV, which is UH-MAZ-ING. I have two balls of yarn in a glass jar on my table, which makes me very happy. Becky and I finished invitations for a party we're throwing for all the lovely single ladies we know. Oh, and I nearly forgot... I get to go on a cruise, basically for free, in a couple of weeks. :)

So life is good. Thank you, Papa, for all the rich blessings you've provided.

Restaurants

Some of my favorites in Tulsa:

Charlestons - great service, key lime pie, atmosphere
Red Rock Canyon Grill - ribs
Garlic Rose - intimate
Palace Cafe - creme brulee
Thai Village - green curry
Desi Wok - chicken tika masala (duh!)
Cosi - artwork, fire place
Blue Moon Cafe - European feel
Ri Le - Sesame soy, the owner is also awesome!
Lanna Thai - Thai tea, pad thai
Senor Tequila's - fajitas, mariachi band
Tucci's - intimate, lemon caesar salad

I'm sure there are more, but that's the short list.

The Things I Most Want in Life

I've been thinking lately. If you were to ask me what I most want in life, I really do think it would be that I would seek after God all the days of my life and be fully surrendered to and satisfied in Him. That being said, in my oft human moments, I would say that I also really want to be married and have a family. But, is that enough? I mean... I could have a husband who despises me or children who curse me and cause me tremendous pain. Is THAT what I want? Is that what anybody really wants?

So, that causes me to reconsider. Maybe it's not really the husband or the children I want. Isn't my truest desire to be surrounded by the people I love and by the people who also love me? From that standpoint, I'm already a very, very rich woman. I don't expect my desire for a deeper, more intimate marriage relationship to dry up any time soon. And I imagine I would be disappointed never being surrounded by my children. But I do suppose I can have everything (or nearly everything) I want and everything I need regardless of my last name, the ring I wear or the children I bear.   

Another 2010 Adendum

How could I forget?! One tremendous blessing this year... a new roommate. Becky moved in in July. She's been an unexpected blessing. I've had some great roommates the past five or six years... no complaints. I've always told myself that one reason they've worked so well is because I haven't known them incredibly well, and we run in different social circles. To be honest, I thought I was stepping into the same situation with Becky. This Fall, I got a little bit nervous when our friendship circles began to overlap a bit. She went camping with me and some friends, and I started to freak out a bit. Funny thing is... I learned something about myself in the process. I realized that I find it incredibly easy to share my house, my food, my pots & pans, etc., but I find it much more difficult to share friends. Somehow all these years, the thing I thought was my "secret" to healthy roommate relations was really just me being selfish. It's been a lot easier to simply stay selfish and avoid the personal growth of learning to share my friends. In reality, that's been very freeing. It's also allowed me to get over the roommate hump. Becky and I are surprisingly similar (more on that later). For the first time, I really enjoy having someone around just to watch TV with, chat about life and laugh. In fact, I'm looking forward to growing that friendship even more in 2011!

2-0-1-1

Well, it's twenty-eleven folks! No true "resolutions," but here are some thoughts...

I have some friends doing a "Biggest Loser" competition. Good reason to take off the 10-15 lbs I've put on over the last three years. Should have most of it off by 3/31.

I want some new hobbies. I've been crocheting up a storm lately. It's fairly addictive. I'm trying to teach myself a new scarf pattern. It's not easy without my sister here to spoon-feed me the instructions. I'm going to join some ladies in a week or two to learn the basics of knitting.

I want to play in a tennis tournament. I was planning to be in a tournament mid-December, but there wasn't enough interest, so they "postponed" it. Regardless... I want to put my new skillz to the test! 

I'd like to find a church to settle down into this year and begin to discover the next adventure God has for me.

I'd like to get a new laptop and dining room set, but mainly, I want to be financially responsible and incredibly generous.  :)

Booyah. Bring it on, 2011!

More of 2010

A few more things I've thought of related to 2010...

I think I've grown up a bit. I'm finally letting go of someone I should have let go of a long time ago.

I'm learning to trust God more and more. A friend helped me complete this phrase recently. I said, "If I spent half the time praying that I spent worrying..." She finished, "... mountains would move." True. True. It's amazing the amount of stress we carry around with us, when all the time, God is right there wanting to carry those burdens for us... if we'll only let him.

I just lost the rest of this post, but I think I talked about how I 1) got a job, 2) made a budget and 3) paid off my car. I'm also trying to do a better job of respecting my employer and friends. I still have to be cautious of my facial expressions and tone, but I've made some improvement. To some extent it's easy with a new employer. With friends - I try not to correct my friends (especially boys) as much, especially in front of others. I'm also working harder to not "pester" people to do what they (obviously) don't want to do. And, I'm trying to keep more of my feelings to myself... not in an unhealthy way, but in such a way that I don't guilt by friends when they do something that disappoints me.

Okay... I'm ready to talk about 2011 now. How about you?