I know, I know... I should be in bed. I was reviewing my blog, though (lots of history here), and I thought I should update you on my birthday celebrations of the last five years:
2006 - Worlds of Fun in KC
2007 - Red Rock (my fav), then back to Matt's for cake and ice cream with add'l friends.
2008 - P.F. Chang's with friends after dealing with a lunatic all through the previous night
2009 - Joint party with Jubilee (roomie) & JPH, cooked out with 50 of our closest friends
2010 - In the Raw with the small group guys, semi-surprise coffee after, Garlic Rose & Catan with friends.
I've often said over the years that "I don't believe in germs." I say this because I have a(n untested) theory that my immune system is strong due to daily interaction with the world around me. I suppose I'm also too lazy to properly protect myself from all the things I'm told to protect myself. I also believe that children who are "too protected" from the elements don't build up any tolerance to otherwise minor irritants.
Jump to a couple weeks ago when I met my first micro-biologist. I told him he would probably refute my disbelief in germs. Although his first instinct was to correct me... (He spends every day looking at bacteria through a microscope.)... he actually ended up confirming it. He said that the word "germ" is thrown around by people who are more likely talking about bacteria, fungi, etc., but there's really no such thing as a "germ."
See... I didn't need a degree in micro-biology to know that! ;)
So I was chatting online with my brother the other day. We somehow wandered into talking about the Old Testament in the Bible. I was sharing some of my recent reflections on Job when he asked a question that 1) flattered me, 2) challenged me and 3) honestly... surprised me:
"I remember back when you were in HS at night, you'd usually be sitting in on your bed reading your bible. I assume you have phases where you're really good about doing that, and others where it's really easy to just go to bed. What keeps you doing it?"
Wow... that may be the highest compliment of my life. It was very humbling, though, because I feel like it paints an unfair picture of me. He's right... there are probably more times when I'm not good about spending time in God's Word. And, even the times I'm digging in to God's Word, I realize I'm often not spending time with Him personally through prayer.
In response to his question, my first thought was to mention the helpfulness of accountability. (It can be helpful!) This saddened me, though, because it seems like such a legalistic approach to reading the Bible. But, as I was typing that I realized how much I really do LOVE God's Word. It's something I'm truly passionate about it, and I can see how it's changed me over the years. There are specific lessons I remember learning based on simply reading the Word. A few examples:
Job - you just read about that below.
Ezekiel - GOD'S will for my life often won't match MY will for my life.
Matthew 6 - When I worry, my actions say "God, I don't trust you." I don't want my life to say that!
Ecclesiastes - Bad/sad times will come. That's just the way life is.
Acts 2 - The Church is a beautiful thing WHEN it's functioning with Christ as its head.
(I could go on.)
Point is... I'm never more passionate than when I'm sharing with others what I'm learning about God through His Word and how it impacts my life. I never stopped to think about that before, so... thanks, Bro, for your question. I hope our conversation impacted you, too. :)
I'm reviewing some of my blog posts, and I find it difficult to believe I've never blogged about the story of Job. I've been fascinated with it for some time... especially the last four or five chapters.
There's so much to say, but unfortunately I don't have much time to write tonight. I will, however, point out a couple of things I noticed in this reading that never sunk in before.
1) Job 40:8 (one of my favorite verses in Job) - God finally responds to Job's pleas by asking, "Would you discredit my justice? Would you condemn me to justify yourself?" OUCH!! But, he goes on (v. 9-14 ) to tell Job (in the words of Bob Burch), "if you've got 'justice' all figured out, then why don't YOU dispense it." It reminds me a bit of the time my Dad turned the tables on me and my sister. He was ready to spank us both and added that famous phrase which parents love, "this will hurt me more than it hurts you." My response was probably something like, "yea, right." My Dad responded, in his wisdom, by handing me the belt and asking me to spank him. That was quite sobering and taught me a very valuable lesson. Like Job, it's easy for me to challenge someone when I'm not in his position and don't carry his responsibility.
2) In all of God's response (Job 38-41), He never tells Job WHY he suffered. It's nice to know the "whys" in life, but many times we never get the answer. I wonder if the lesson is that, even without the "why," we're supposed to trust that God is good and just, that He loves us and that He's in control.
3) Finally, upon reading through Job this time, I noticed a date I had written in the margin of my Bible. I had highlighted these two verses: (27) "The churning inside me never stops; days of suffering confront me." (31) "My harp is tuned to mourning, and my flute to the sound of wailing." To be honest, it took me quite awhile to determine what I was suffering through at that time. It was another reminder, though. Like Job, when we're in the middle of the struggle, it seems like the world is ending and we'd be better off dead (or never having been born)! But, those are usually only seasons in our life. Years later we nearly even forget them. Once they're in the past, we gain more perspective and see the low points balanced with the joys in life. Just like the Proverb (30:5) says, "weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning."
I spoke with a couple guys about my blog tonight, which motivated me to make a brief update. (It's nearly 1am, so I won't write long.) My birthday was this past week. When my friends asked what I wanted to do, I simply asked to go out to a nice dinner and play games after. That didn't specifically happen ON my birthday; however, my birthday was on a Wednesday this year, which is our small group night. Instead of our weekly trip to Village Inn for Bible study and free pie, a few of us went to dinner. It was me and four guys (go figure). We had sushi, which I haven't had in quite some time. I especially enjoyed the spicy tako (octopus) salad. Yum!
After dinner we went over to Starbucks. I know, I know... I think I've gotten a bad rap as a Starbucks girl. I actually enjoy supporting more local coffee shops; HOWEVER... the best outdoor seating at a Tulsa coffee shop, imho, is the Starbucks at 61st & Yale. And, it was absolutely perfect for a come-and-go birthday party. Apparently someone threw out a Facebook invitation. (I spoiled the surprise slightly by inviting people personally through a Facebook status earlier in the day.) But, it was great. Something like 30+ people came out to enjoy coffee, cake and ice cream with me! They also had a giant card that everyone signed for me. I had Gathering-friends, tennis friends, former and current roommates and on.
Toward the end of the night, I was cleaning up and offered some left over cupcakes/cake to a couple of gentlemen who had been sitting near us. They asked me what the group was. I thought for a second and said "well... it's my birthday, and all of these people are my friends." They commented on what a neat group it seemed to be. For whatever reason that small comment made me realize how incredibly blessed I am to have so many people who care for me and would take time out of their busy lives to come celebrate me for an evening.
Other highlights of the bday celebrations were: the family August birthday celebrations in KC, birthday breakfast with Jessica. (The guy at OSBC gave me a free cookie!) And then a couple days after my birthday I had dinner with a few friends at the Garlic Rose, which was chased with two rousing games of Catan. (I lost both!)
It's been a year of transition, and I've been trying to decide where I fit. But... it's been nice in the midst of that to be reminded that I'm loved by so many people. God has definitely been good to me.
Told a friend tonight that part of me wanted to crawl in a hole and the other part of me really needed a hug. Then this psalm popped up on my radar. It's like God can read my thoughts or something. (duh!)
Psalm 142
A maskil of David. When he was in the cave. A prayer. [a]
1 I cry aloud to the LORD;
I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy. 2 I pour out my complaint before him;
before him I tell my trouble. 3 When my spirit grows faint within me,
it is you who know my way.
In the path where I walk
men have hidden a snare for me. 4 Look to my right and see;
no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
no one cares for my life. 5 I cry to you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living." 6 Listen to my cry,
for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
for they are too strong for me. 7 Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
because of your goodness to me.
I don't know if this bothers me as much as it amuses me. There's a radio commercial I've heard several times for Wholesale Computers here in Tulsa. The character in these commercials is called "The Bargain Hunter," and he's basically a rip-off of Steve Erwin, The (late) Crocodile Hunter. But, he talks with the same thick Australian accent.
The commercial begins with a phone call between someone needing computer support and an Indian-sounding tech support guy. The interaction is that the guy calling in is frustrated because he can't understand the tech guy, because his English is not great. In steps (talks) the Bargain Hunter who tries to empathize with everyone who's ever had a similar experience of not being able to understand on-line tech support (who are often outsourced). But, whoever prepared the commercial seemed to miss the fact that The Bargain Hunter speaks with a VERY thick accent and could be equally difficult to understand.
Just seem ironic to me. Or poorly conceived, anyway.
Sometimes we understand the benefits of salvation only in an eternal (after-death) sense, but I like that these verses go beyond that... to indicate the benefits of knowing and relying on God in THIS life. He delivers my eyes from tears. I no longer have to stumble through life. I can now be in the presence of God Almighty here on Earth - today, right now, forever... because I walk in righteousness as a result of God's mercy and Christ's sacrifice! How d'ya like THEM apples?!
There are strange things that often plague my mind. I thought I'd share one (or two) right now.
The Office Bathroom
The bathroom is actually very clean... no strange odors. There are two posters on the inside door of each bathroom stall. The first is a poster issued (presumably) by the CDC. At one place on this "Germ Stoppers" poster it says, "Be a germ stopper... at work and home." The word "work" doesn't match the font on the rest of the page. In fact, it looks like someone hand wrote that one word. It's not that I mind, but it really bothers me not knowing why that word was changed. What did it say before? School? Did someone in our firm white it out and write over it? Was it issued by the CDC like that?
The next poster asks women not to flush "femine" products. I mean, we're a professional services firm. We couldn't figure out "feminine"? I'm not sure what bothers me more... the misspelling... or how long it took me to realize it was misspelled. ;)
Okay, so I don't know for sure that this is the smallest coffee cup in the world, but it's definitely the smallest coffee cup in MY world. My parents bought it for me on some trip they were on. I think they were just surprised to find something with name (spelled correctly) on it. Oh, and I used to have a miniature collection. Either way, this little cup makes me smile. I decided to do a sort of photo shoot with it. So, without further ado...
I went home this weekend to celebrate with my family the 20th anniversary of the church I attended during high school (and that my parents still attend). I had been looking forward to it, but I ended up enjoying it even more than I anticipated.
The church hosted a dinner and a time for sharing testimonies on Saturday. Then Sunday morning, they had a special breakfast and service. I got to sing on one of the praise teams (the "old" praise team) with my sister and a friend of ours from those days. It was so much fun harmonizing and praising God together. I enjoyed hearing what people shared about their years at the church and how it had touched their lives. I particularly appreciated an email someone read from a former member who couldn't be there. Former pastors were on-hand, including the one who was there for my high school years. Although he was the lead pastor, he invested a lot of time and energy in the youth of the church. It was a blessing catching up with him and his wife.
Sunday after church, my sister and I met up with a couple of friends (one from the church and one from our high school days) for lunch. We shared pictures, reminisced on yonder years and just had fun catching up.
The old hymn, "Blest Be the Tie that Binds" has been stuck in my mind since then. I'm always impressed by the bond shared between those who are in Christ. It doesn't matter the time or distance that stands between, we're still one in Him... and always will be! What a sweet, sweet comfort.
Just noticed there's a random wikipedia link on my post below... it links the psalm I quoted to the movie "Deliverance." Um... slight difference. :)
Speaking of the movie Deliverance, I've always kind of wanted to see it. Every time I go canoeing, or every time the song "Dueling Banjos" plays, someone references the movie. I hate not fully understanding cultural references. However, I've been assured that I would be better off NOT seeing it. I suppose know enough of the story line to probably agree. (Though I've probably seen worse.)
This has definitely been a season of change. Part of me is enjoying the floating along in life... not many commitments beyond work. I'm taking tennis lessons. Or, rather, I just finished my first tennis lessons. There's a marked improvement in my forehand and backhand. I have learned some of the basics of serving but am not too skilled at serving the ball properly AND not faulting. I practiced a bit tonight.
It's been kind of a lonely season. I've been praying for a friend this year. You know... a best friend. Someone to really share life with. Someone who knows me (as well as another human can know me, anyway). I feel like a lot of my friends have sorta moved on in life. I don't blame them. I most likely would have moved on too, had the opportunity presented itself. But, even as I write this, I realize that certain opportunities have come and gone, and I've elected not to seize them for whatever reason(s).
I was thinking the other day about the nature of hope... what it is, what it's not. It seems to me that hope is what allows us to keep going when we would otherwise be tempted to give up. But, there is also "false hope." It seems to give us the same ability to persevere, but it ultimately (and utterly) disappoints. And is it even really worth persevering in something if the hope you hold in it is only an illusion?
As I was debating this, I thought about Hebrews 11:1, which says "Now FAITH is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
We can put our hope in a lot of things, but hope misplaced will ultimately prove to be a false hope. There's only ONE object worthy of our hope, and only ONE object in which we should place our faith.
From Psalm 33...
16 No king is saved by the size of his army;
no warrior escapes by his great strength.
17 A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
despite all its great strength it cannot save.
18 But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
19 to deliver them from death
and keep them alive in famine.
20 We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.
21 In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.
It's 4am, and I can't think of anything better to do than blog!! ;) Actually, sleep sounds good. Problem is I was just laying there not sleeping so thought I would get on the computer.
Now that we're nine or ten weeks into the year, I thought I'd update you on my progress toward the 2010 goals...
Weight - not much progress. In fact, I got on the scales the other day and decided to march myself back to WW. I think the online eTools are very helpful. (I probably should have continue to pay for and use those after making LT member a couple of years ago.) Regardless, I hit a mtg with a friend yesterday and followed her to a Zumba class after. Then last night I went dancing. So... I'm already feeling a bit achy. But... it's a good soreness, to be sure. And, I *may* still be able to hit my original target... by May 1.
Fingernails - excellent! They're looking relatively nicely. I've tried to keep a nail file and lotion closer this year. I think that's helped. But, mainly, it's the pure will power not to bite or pick at them.
Job - got one! I took a Controller position at a local public accounting firm (though they've had me out on an audit the past few weeks).
Budget - made one! Signed up for mvelopes through Crown Financial. It's been a good way of putting together a financial plan. In fact, I already made an additional $1500 principal pmt toward my car loan. I only have about $3k outstanding.
Respect - nothing much to note... other than I've already had some opportunities to bite my lip and cheerfully dig in to projects I wouldn't have otherwise chosen. I feel like I've done a good job of voicing an opinion but not being disagreeable or disrespectful.
So, God is really amazing. I hope you already know that. In case you don't, I'd like to share what I know.
First a quick note... I'm making some headway on my 2010 goals. My fingernails have grown out considerably. (I had to trim them last night!!) And, I got a job! I'm working as the Controller in a public accounting firm.
The job is totally God. I had every reason to be worried... the economy is terrible, lots of people are out of work, most companies are letting people go (not hiring!), and on and on. Also, I've been somewhat out of the typical accounting realm for six years now. But, God's peace was with me. I knew I was being obedient to Him by resigning my last position. The week I planned to resign, a recruiter (a former co-worker) called me randomly. He lined up an interview for me between Christmas and New Years. I had an offer in hand by Jan 11 and started a week later!
I could feel like a fish out of water right now. But, instead, I'm realizing how perfectly God has prepared me for this new position. I've learned a surprising amount about leadership, confidence and my own ingenuity from my job at The Gathering. I realize I'm only a couple of weeks in, but I feel fairly at home... like I'm definitely the right (unique) person for the job!
In addition to blessing me with a job and His peace, God has provided for me financially. I anticipated I may have to flex my dollars/savings here for a few weeks, since I've been working part-time at two places the past couple of weeks. But, I got paid on Friday and noted that my combined paychecks matched (nearly exactly) what I was previously making! Blessing! That could have still left me tight... because I've been used to some cushion from having a roommate. God knows what He's doing, though! Two jobs back, I had participated in an employee stock purchase program. Well... the company was just purchased, so all of my outstanding shares were paid out... over market value, mind you! And I just received the check in the mail today!! On top of that, my next paycheck will include my new salaried amount, five days of hourly pay (paid in arrears) and an hourly paycheck from The Gathering. And that will all come five days before I'm supposed to go skiing. (I had already planned the ski trip before I resigned, so was not sure how that might work financially.)
Point is: God knows exactly WHAT we need... and exactly WHEN we need it. He is Good! He is SO Good! And He is faithful. He does exactly what He says He will do.
So, I was surprised last night while driving home how many people still have their Christmas lights on. I guess it's kind of nice. I mean, it's so much work to get them up. People might as well leave them up awhile. But, maybe it's just another instance of what I like to call "the Christmas Sprawl." Retailers now put out Christmas merchandise around Halloween, so I suppose it's reasonable that individuals would try to draw it out on the back end as well.
As promised, a few goals I have for myself heading into this new year...
1) Down to x lbs. by May 1st. - Join a gym as soon as I have a source of income identified. :) - Count my WW points.
2) Take better care of my fingernails. - Keep nail clippers, file and lotion on hand (may require a larger purse) - Refrain from biting and picking at my nails.
3) Show greater respect to my employer and friends. - Beware of my facial expressions - Exercise wisdom and caution before challenging a decision
4) Get a job!!!! :)
5) Make a new budget based on my new income. - By February, if possible. - Finish paying off my car - Rebuild my savings account
So without further ado... Twenty-Ten, it's on!! :)
Before I launch into the goals for 2010, I want to go back and address 2009. I may have been hormotional when I wrote the last update. Upon further reflection, I realized how blessed I've been in 2009...
RELATIONSHIPS - I dated a couple of guys this year. (That's always something to celebrate!!)
TRAVEL - I got to go to India and tell others about Christ.
PEACE - As tumultous as this year has felt, I've had a tremendous amount of peace. Even now as I've resigned one job with no other job lined up, I'm at peace when I would otherwise have expected to be panicked.
FINANCIAL - God provided a rommate and some assistance with living expenses. In addition, it's the first year in several years where I haven't had any major expenses!!
FAMILY - I was able to spend some extended time with my family over the holidays (nearly half of the last six weeks)!
CHURCH - My church blessed me greatly by allowing me to take a six-week break from my responsibilities!!!
SPIRITUAL UNDERSTANDING - God has taught me some new things... 1) from the book of Job I learned I should be extremely cautious when questioning him, 2) He is GOOD... even when I can't see it, 3) He is faithful to take care of me and will never leave me alone (John 16:23), 4) Respect is an act of obedience (Eph 5 and the book "Love & Respect" by Eggerichs) and 5) it's not fair to withdraw from my friends like I have this year. My response to them should be consistent and reliable.
I don't know what 2010 will hold, but 2009 was nothing to snivel at. As you can easily see, I have a lot to be thankful for. :)
It's just after midnight, and I thought I'd welcome everyone to the new year. I have a few "resolutions," though I prefer not to call them that. Resolutions are made to be broken. So... we'll call them "goals" for this coming year. I'll post them soon. :)
I was reading in Psalms yesterday and ran across this verse (33:7): "He gathers the waters of the sea into jars; he puts the deep into storehouses." That reminded me of some of the imagery in the book of Job: (38:37) "Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens?"
So, I've been reading some of the later chapters of Job (32-42) and am amazed at some of the truths there.
WISDOM AND UNDERSTANDING COME FROM GOD'S SPIRIT
Elihu (son of Barakel the Buzite, of the family of Ram) rebukes Job and his friends. Since he was the youngest person there, he sat and waited until everyone else was done speaking. Finally, he spoke up...
"I thought, 'Age should speak; advanced years should teach wisdom.' But it is the spirit in a man, the breath of the Almighty, that gives him understanding. It is not only the old who are wise, not only the aged who understand what is right." (32:7-9)
"For the ear tests words as the tongue tastes food. Let us discern for ourselves what is right; let us learn together what is good." (34:3-4)
NO ONE (EXCEPT GOD) IS PERFECT
Job claims over and over to be righteous. And, to be fair, God even refers to him as "blameless and upright" in chapter 1. But, Elihu points out that God is over all and above all... "It is unthinkable that God would do wrong, that the Almighty would pervert justice. Who appointed him over the earth? Who put him in charge of the whole world? If it were his intention and he withdrew his spirit and breath, all mankind would perish together and man would return to the dust." (34:12-15)
i.e. - Man is still man... fallible and imperfect... subject to God and dependent on His mercy.
GOD HAS A PLAN AND PURPOSE FOR OUR SUFFERING
Elihu explains that often it's our suffering that causes us to turn (or turn more fully) to God: "God does all these things to a man - twice, even three times - to turn back his soul from the pit, that the light of life may shine on him." (33:29-30) "But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction. He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food." (36:15-16)
WE SHOULD BE CAREFUL WHEN QUESTIONING GOD
Job indicts God on several counts, which include...
1) God has left him/ignored him (29:1-6, 30: 20)
2) God has attacked him/has bad intentions toward him (30:19, 21-23, 26)
3) God is unjust (27:1-6)
Check this out, though... in Job 40:8, God asks of Job, "Would you discredit my justice? Would you condemn me to justify yourself?"
Ouch! How many times do we want to blame God, in an attempt to maintain our own righteousness? It's easy to want to point a finger at God when we're suffering. (I know I've charged God with many of the same things as Job!) BUT... God will not be mocked. If you catch yourself questioning God, I'd encourage you to take a look at Job... especially the last few chapters where God responds to Job.
What great reminders! I know I sometimes (often) I need to be put back in my place. The book of Job helps me find my way back there. :)
I hadn't been home long when I noticed that nearly every sentence my four-year-old niece, Natalie, utters includes the word "actually." It was pretty entertaining, and I inquired as to who she picked that up from. My sister ("Mom") replied, "Actually, I'm not sure where she picked that up." Well... it wasn't long until I heard my Mom ("Grandma") say it. Then, my brother-in law ("Dad") was caught in the act. My Dad ("Grandpa"), too. Yes, even me ("Aunt Krista") as well as the Geico Gecko on TV. It appears poor little Natalie never had a fighting chance.
Actually, it's pretty funny when you think about it! ;)
Several weeks ago I watched my new favorite movie, "Dan in Real Life." I enjoyed the story, but even more so, I enjoyed watching the family-interaction in the movie. Dan and his three daughters joined their large, extended family for the holidays. The family spent time preparing meals, eating meals together, competing in crossword puzzles, playing football and performing in their annual talent show. It was so much fun to watch a family come together like that and truly enjoy each others' company.
I may have had a touch of that this weekend. I spent Thanksgiving (and the days surrounding it) at my parents' house in Kansas City. My brother and sister and their families were all around as well. My parents are refinishing their upstairs, so there's been lots of painting to do. When some were painting, some were watching the girls and others were preparing meals. My parents have a new hot tub, too, so we all took turns relaxing after all the hard work.
Some of my favorite memories from the weekend include the following:
Going to Grandparents' day at my eldest niece's (Erin's) school. She had written and illustrated a "story" about the time she and I went to see a movie. I'm apparently "Ant Cerest." (She's still working on her spelling.) But my head grew a bit when her teacher mentioned hearing a lot about Erin's Aunt Krista. :)
Playing with my fifteen-month old niece, Ember. She has a smile that can melt your heart. I tried to get some pictures, so I'll try to post one later. She's generally a very happy child... mainly getting upset when her mom is away or unable to hold her for some reason. I was happy to play substitute for mom from time-to-time. There's something unbelievably touching about when a young child like that prefers you over every other person around. They look into your eyes like they're looking into your soul. That may be love in its truest form.
Baking two pumpkin pies with Erin. She's just learning how to read, so she helped by reading the recipe and then helping me measure out the ingredients. She also did a great job preparing the pie crust. We also painted together this afternoon. She kept telling me I was "fake painting," because I was just cutting-in (planning to roll the walls later). The section she was doing, she did all by hand... "the old fashioned way." (I'm not sure anyone told her that she was painting the wall that would be covered up by the washer and dryer!)
Painting along side my sister, my brother, my brother-in-law and my Dad. We shared stories of old and quite a few laughs. Some of the highlights were Michelle leaning back into a wall David had painted and leaving a nice butt print. David scolded Avery (3) and Natalie (4) at some point for rough-housing in one of the newly painted rooms. He said to them, "and if you mess up these walls, are YOU going to want to repaint them?!" To which they both replied, "YES!!" :) That kind of backfired on him. John and I enjoyed some nice conversation and mended some fences that had been knocked down a long time ago.
Cooking dinner for the fam. Though I would have enjoyed painting more yesterday, I baked a couple of pies (with Erin) and then made chili for lunch/dinner. At some point Michelle pitched in and made some scrumptious cornbread to go with it. We also spent some time cleaning and straightening the house. With eleven of us packed in here, that was an unending task.
I think what I enjoyed the most was just having the whole family together and seeing everyone chip in to help out. No complaining, no whining (from the adults, anyway)... just a great sense of gratitude and thankfulness for the time together. There was also a sense of wanting to honor Mom and Dad by helping with the upstairs project. They've done so much for each of us over the last thirty-five years. They give and give and give... and, unfortunately, don't always get much back. It really was a meaningful time being able to serve them in some special ways.
So... in summary, it really has been a Happy Thanksgiving!! Maybe the best one yet!
I feel like I'm mourning a bit today (and lately). Is it possible to mourn and be grateful at the same time, or is mourning simply a sign that I'm not grateful for the current blessings in my life?
So I've been in Missouri the past few days, and here are some of the interesting things I saw...
A sign on the compartment of a semi-truck that said, "Fire Putter Outter Inside."
State Fair Community College - I love the State Fair as much as the next guy, but is that (carnies, mullets, cigarette-smoking twelve year olds, etc.) the connotation you want for an institution of higher learning?
I'm on a sort of soul-searching mission. I believe my purpose for being on this earth is to bring glory to God, but I realize there are millions of more specific ways I can do that.
Initial thought(s):
PEOPLE - I know my more specific role has something to do with people. (Again, duh.) But this is my second official day off from work, and I've already realized that I've been neglecting some people. I mean, I see people all the time and am drawn to be in community; however, I wonder if I've been busy meeting with people in a task-oriented (work) sense and neglecting the deeper soul-issues of meeting with people. Some things I'm thinking of tackling in the next few weeks include: reaching out to some old friends, encouraging some people around me, finding ways to thank people who have been involved in my life, being more open to people, spending some quality time with my nieces, etc. Those things get me really excited, but they're things I've failed to do much of lately.
HUMILITY - Check out John 13. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty familiar with the story of Jesus washing the disciples' feet. I've read it a hundred times (at least) and feel like I get the point. HOWEVER, I was reading it yesterday and focused in on verse 3... "Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God..." Wow! I can't imagine that... having been given ULTIMATE POWER and AUTHORITY, the FIRST thing Jesus does is to get a towel and basin, strip down and wash the feet of his friends... and even of his "enemy" (Judas). I can't imagine that would be my first instinct.
The crazy thing is, God has given us power through his Holy Spirit. In fact, in the next chapter of John, Jesus tells us that we may ask for anything in His name, and he will do it. It's easy to take that and get excited about all the selfish things i could do with that kind of power. Yet, Jesus is clear to tell us that the PURPOSE for asking things in his name is "so that the Son may bring glory to the Father."
I wish my prayers were for THAT purpose only, and that through the power of the Holy Spirit, I would be drawn toward humility... toward picking up a towel and serving those around me.
"Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, "Let us go back and visit the brothers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing." Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches."
I heard a sermon on this passage yesterday. And though I'm familiar with the passage, I thought the pastor added some great insights...
Paul and Barnabas were good friends. Acts 9: 26-27 explains that Paul was shunned by Jesus' disciples until Barnabas welcomed him into the circle and explained that his conversion was legitimate. It was this friendship that was brought into conflict when Paul and Barnabas were picking a team for an upcoming mission. Barnabas wanted to include his cousin, John Mark, but Paul had been burned by John Mark when he deserted a team on a previous mission. He showed either some spiritual immaturity or possibly a lack of ability to handle the pressures of this kind of mission work. The division was so sharp that Paul and Barnabas agreed to disagree and built two separate teams.
PRINCIPLE #1: The MISSION is greater than the CONFLICT.
There may be a time to break relationship over principles and truth. BUT... you should make absolutely sure that they are BIBLICAL principles and truth. Too many times we let other things cloud our decision to break relationship - pride, for example. But, we need to also recognize that people can change. You may need them in the future and/or they may need you. We should make every attempt not to burn bridges.
PRINCIPLE #2: Even if you have to change a relationship, don't write people off.
I hadn't really considered it before, but reading Paul's words in II Timothy 4:11, "Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry." I appears that John Mark matured in his faith and became an asset to Paul in his ministry.
PRINCIPLE #3: What action will bring God the most glory?
Shouldn't this ALWAYS be the question in the forefront of our minds?!
Finally, whatever the conflict, choose...
Principle... Not Pride Humility... Not Power Unity... Not Independence Peace... Not Turmoil (Rom 12:18) Love... Not Accommodation
So, I'm cleaning out a large pile of receipts I've been collecting for a few years. One the back of an April 2007 receipt I have written the following...
I was reminded today that servanthood most often means doing what you DON'T want to do when you DON'T want to do it. It's a lot easier to "serve" others when the task is easy or convenient. But Christ set the supreme example by going somewhere he really didn't want to go and doing something he really didn't want to do. Why did he do it? Because he was a servant.
Phil 2: 12-16
"Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing."
I read something recently that struck me... "Failure is our master teacher, and those who do not know this teacher well tend to be short-termers in the growth process." (Cloud & Townsend)
So many people I know are paralyzed by the fear of failure and, as a result, risk nothing. It's unfortunate, really, because there's so much to be gained in life. But, most of what there is to gain is only attained by taking a risk.
I've always considered myself to be a risk-taker, and yet, I feel like I've shrunk back some... played it safe, sat out one too many dances. It'd be nice to turn that around. It's difficult to think one can please God without taking risks. Isn't that what faith is all about in the first place?! (Hebrews 11:6) Faith is a risk. Faith in God may just be the ultimate risk.
"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail. But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:25-26
You might want to check it. I think it's close, but there may be a "the" or "this" before earth. :)
The second sentence is particularly challenging to me. I mean, can I honestly say there's nothing on earth I desire besides God? I wish that were the case, but I find myself desiring all kinds of things... new clothes, security/safety, people/relationships, a vacation, and on and on. Now I know in my head that none of that compares to God, but my heart doesn't always follow. Maybe that's what the third sentence means. I'd like to re-write it in the KST (Krista Standard Translation) to say "my flesh and my heart WILL fail." That seems more appropriate and realistic. Fortunately that's countered by the last line! The NLT says "God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever." I like that. He is MINE... FOREVER!! (Whom have I in heaven but YOU?!) What else on this earth can I really claim as MINE? It's all His, really. He may entrust some of it to me, but He doesn't want me to desire it more than Him.
It's been way too long since I've blogged, but that doesn't mean I haven't had things to say. For instance I've thought about blogging on the following topics...
What's the difference between "praise" and "honor"? My thoughts on Psalm 73:25-26, which I've been memorizing. The difficulties I have maintaining friendships with women. The difficulties I have being friends with men. Spiritual growth... how it often happens as a result of conflict. How much I enjoy Nutella. :P
I'm sure there are more. Part of the difficulty is that I forget most of the topics I have in my head as soon as I sit down to address them. So, I might as well begin somewhere. (stay posted)
