A Second-Hand Christmas

So, my dear sweet husband was sent to San Antonio for a week for work. I ponied up the cash to make a weekend trip so am there now... currently watching a movie from our hotel room. We've run around a bit, though it's been cold and rainy. We're going back to the Riverwalk tonight to see the lights and eat dinner.

Fortunately we've been able to get a bit of Christmas shopping done. We've even kept (mostly) with the family Christmas Rules. Yes, we do have "Christmas Rules" of sorts. We've debated over the years of the best way to handle Christmas given our growing family. We've finally settled on a Second-hand Christmas. It's awesome. The best way to describe it is that all gifts have to be used. So, you could give something from your home that you think someone else would enjoy. I really like it when I can give someone something from my home that they've specifically asked for... a movie, a book, something I'm not using but still has value.You can also make use of second-hand stores, used book stores, garage sales, etc.

Usually there are great stories accompanying the gifts like, "guess where I found that?" and "I got quite a deal on that!" It's lots of fun. I'd give you some examples of the gifts we've found this year, but I'd hate to spoil the surprises.

We've also done the "homemade" Christmas before. It's been less successful. One year we did that, most everyone in the family received an "IOU" gift. (I received my ACTUAL gift two years after that.) So, now we do a bit of a hodge-podge. I am trying to make one gift, but we'll see if it gets done by Christmas.

Okay... John's requesting a hot chocolate from downstairs. I wouldn't mind refreshing my coffee either. I hope your Christmas season is going well. Do me a favor... enjoy the gift buying/giving, but don't forget the TRUE gift this Christmas: God's gift to us of his son, Jesus.

Reminders

Permit me a few lines from my favorite poet, Billy Collins:

"me with my presumptuous breathing,
my arrogant need for coffee,
my love of the colorful leaves beyond the windows."

For whatever reason tonight, these lines reminded me of my neglected blog. Maybe it's the creativity of poetry that drove me back. Maybe it's just that so much has happened in these last three months that I finally have something to say about it. Maybe it's just the first time I've really sat down to rest for awhile. Regardless, here I am... propped up in bed, hands on laptop, enjoying the humming of the clothes dryer and the serenity of this moment.

But what to say? I'm not quite sure.

I could talk about my new-ish NOOK.... about how John and I were agreeing together how sad it is that hard copy books are now being out-sold by e-books... and about how within moments of voicing those sentiments we were at Barnes & Noble admiring the NOOKs and talking about how nice they would be for traveling. We bought not one but TWO. And though I haven't finished reading a single book on mine, I do enjoy the portability of it. (I'd like to note that since buying the NOOK I have purchased a "legacy" book online... a compilation of Billy Collins poems, a belated birthday present from a friend (via an amazon gift card).

I could tell you what little I know of married life. So far, so good! :) I think I had enough wisdom to know (before getting married) that married life is not some Shangrila where suddenly everything is blissful and poop doesn't stink. (It still does.) But, a few notes about walking through a new marriage and the joining of lives:

1) We felt really celebrated as people. John and I both remarked a number of times about how blessed we are to have such wonderful friends. My bachelorette party was particularly fun. I enjoyed the time with my girlfriends and being "showered" with gifts/advice/well-wishes. I remember leaving that night thinking, "EVERY girl should feel celebrated like this"... single, married, getting married... EVERY girl.

2) Married life is lovely... or, rather, has some lovely things about it. I remember telling John that I hadn't felt that deep achy, lonely feeling since we started dating. That feeling SUCKS. It absolutely sucks. But, over and over as we were moving toward our wedding, I had (well-meaning) friends make comments about "this is your best year yet" and similar comments. I appreciated the sentiments, but sometimes I felt like those comments served as a slap-in-the-face to the other 36 years of my life. I've had some GREAT years. This will be another GREAT year... definitely full of firsts. But, don't downplay the rest of my life. God blessed me richly in those years as well... whether I recognized it at the time or not.  ;)

3) Single friends - don't dispair. There are some nice things about marriage, but there are some equally nice things about being single. I'll wait until later to expound on those. But... enjoy your single days, my friends. They really are a beautiful gift - straight from the hand of God.

4) I'm done lecturing... for now.

True Love

Psalm 27:4

"One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: to dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and seek him in his temple."

I read Psalm 27 this morning, because it's 27 days now until my wedding. I smiled when I realized I was reading Psalm 27, because I remember a specific time in college when I read that Psalm. It talks so much about the love and protection of God. I remember reading it back then and realizing that the things I often longed for in a man (a husband) had already been provided for me in Christ: beauty, desire, protection, joy, companionship, salvation, comfort, attention and help. I also remember telling my Mom that I had fallen in love... fallen in love with Christ.

My challenge now - 27 days out from one of the deepest desires of my heart - is to remember that none of those things can be fully met in any human person. And expecting all those things from my soon-to-be husband would result in failure and disappointment.

God, help me remember to seek your face. Realizing that YOU are my Provider, my Comforter and my Joy will free up my husband to work toward loving me in the same ways.

Garden Update

The garden is quickly dying. (I heard a rumor that may happen if you don't water those things.) But, we spent a little bit of time out there yesterday trying to de-weed and water the garden. We made a few delightful discoveries...

Our first green pepper has made an appearance!! I'm not sure if this picture accurately captures the scale, but right now our little friend is about the size of a nickel. (Might be difficult to stuff that sucker.)

There are actually two little green tomatoes hanging out there.

I've already harvested TWO red tomatoes. Yumsters!

Another tomato on the second plant!



We didn't think the basil was going to make it, but now it's thriving!

Rosemary! I've used a bit on some chicken and potatoes. Mmmmm...

Our potato plants had died, but Becky wisely went digging anyway. It's not what I'd call a "banner" crop, but looks like we can have some green beans and new potatoes! Can't wait!!

Our li'l taters, all cleaned up and ready for the feast!



So far we've used the following from our garden:

Two red tomatoes - one I prepared with basil and mozzarella, the second I cut up with a couple of store bought tomatoes to make Navajo Tacos.

Green onion, garlic, cilantro - used in some homemade grape salsa

Basil & rosemary - general cooking/use

Mint - added some to some sweet tea the other day

Can't wait to: fix the potatoes above, use our first green pepper, harvest (hopefully) some squash, use some mint in a fruit salad and eat the other tomatoes once they ripen. Overall... not a bad experiment for the summer!

Poop, in Mixed Media

"Well, it probably wasn't in MIXED media. To be honest, I'm not sure what the medium was. Hopefully it wasn't the medium it implied."

Those have been my thoughts every day that I've climbed the stairs of my parking garage at work. Half-way up to the third level, the word "poop" was scrawled in some kind of brown substance on the white-washed wall just under the hand rail. I also thought every day that I should bring my camera and take a picture of the crude artwork. Unfortunately, the other day (after a number of weeks of being there) it disappeared. Wonder who got the job of scrubbing that off?!  ;)

Timing

Have I mentioned before how I believe that our "bad timing" (of which I've had PLENTY of over the years) is really just God's PERFECT timing working itself out in our lives? God's cool like that.

He's been so good to me... saved me from lots of crazy things I thought I wanted in my timing... and saved me FOR some really amazing things in His timing.

What to Do When the Magic Ends

So, I bought my first electronic toothbrush several weeks back. To be quite honest, I really do like it. But, it concerns me a bit. I think it probably does a better job of brushing my teeth, but it cost about $100 before the mail-in-rebates (that I actually do intend to send off for) but after the 20% coupon for Bed Bath & Beyond. And, the heads, which you're supposed to change every three months or so, are pretty pricey, too. That's all up from the FREE toothbrush I would get from my dentist every 6 months. It's not so much that I mind the "continual improvement" that's so highly valued in our culture. I'm just not sure where it ends. Most likely?... in debt. :(  I do like the way it seems to clean my teeth, though. The vibrating action is somewhat addictive, but it always catches me off-guard when it stops. Suddenly the toothbrush is transformed back into the plain old toothbrush I've used my entire life. It's as if the magic has ended.

Reminds me of a conversation I had recently with a friend. We were debating the importance of married couples maintaining a "date night." I would assume at some point, marriage dulls the initial excitement that couples feel in dating. It's probably easy to look back over the years and wonder where the magic has gone. It's not unlike the church in Ephesus that John mentions in Revelation 2... "You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen!" But then he admonishes them, "Repent and do the things you did at first."

Good reminders for all of us: Turn the toothbrush back on. Chase hard after Christ. Take your wife on a date.

A Night at the Ballet

So I'm going to the ballet in just a few. (Will probably have to finish this post after, in fact.) I have a friend who has a young daughter, Audrey, who has a recital tonight. I'm not completely sure I've been to a ballet recital. But, I figure little girls twirling in tutus has to be pretty entertaining.

On with the show!

My First Garden

We have a garden. I took these pictures several weeks back, so things have changed a bit since then. But, just this week, I picked some green onions and cilantro and made some grape salsa. Yumsters! First garden success. We'll cross our fingers for the rest of the harvest!

Unfortunately, we didn't harvest our broccoli before it flowered.

This would have been good for about, oh... one bite.  ;)

Green onions...

 Potatoes! Mom... there's no more dirt to cover them up with.

What to do, what to do?



Nice li'l patch! This replaced the wild flower garden, which was rumored to
"take care of itself," and the previous turtle abode.

Flower garden that borders the deck...  

Unbelievable, really...

I could go on and on and on and on about this past week, but I'll leave it at this... God loves me. He wants good things for me. He longs to give me the desires of my heart.

It's nice to be reminded.  :)

Trust vs. Worry

From my journal earlier this year:

1/30/11

I used to worry a lot more than I do now. In fact, I feel like fear may have destroyed some relationships in my life. I was so busy worrying about what they were not that I didn't enjoy what they were. So, I've put worry behind me... to a great extent. But, I do sometimes fear loss and the future. I was wondering this morning what it is that I'm most afriad of. I think that I'm most afraid of being alone... not so much now but at some unspecified point in the future. I'm afraid of growing old and having no one around me. I'm afraid of having no spouse and no kids. I'm afraid of life passing me right by.

But, what's the worst thing that would happen? I get to enjoy my friends and do whatever I feel like doing... whatever incredible things God calls me to.

...

Papa,

You know the deepest desires of my heart. If those aren't of you, please take them from me and replace them with your desires. If they are pleasing to you, give me patience to wait on your timing. Help me be bold when I need to be and passive when I need to be. Don't let me destroy the blessings of friendships in my life by trying to force them to be something they were never meant to be.

I do trust you. And I will continue to do so. Help me in knowing how to best guard my heart.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."  ~  Proverbs 4:23

Mushrooms

I really enjoy fresh mushrooms on my salads. It's a new thing... the last year or so. They're particularly good on a salad with blue cheese and strawberries, among other things. What's funny is that every once in awhile I taste them and think, "wow, these taste exactly like.... mushrooms."

I know that's ridiculous, but that really is what I think. I guess most of my life up until now, I've only really had canned mushrooms that I might buy to put on pizza. And, for the most part, fresh mushrooms are so different from those mushrooms. But, every once in awhile, they match up... and the "new" fresh mushrooms connect me back to the mushrooms I grew up with.

Commit Your Life to a Multiplying Community

Who knew this might be the most challenging point for me! I've been bouncing around churches the last year-plus. I've been attending a larger church most recently... very consistently for several months now. But, I haven't taken much of any step to get involved. And to be honest, I'm not sure it's a place I could see myself long-term. I enjoy the sermons very much, but otherwise, I'm probably not a huge fan of the ministry style/philosophy. For the last couple of years, I think I've learned more about my personal (and Biblical) views on the purpose of the church, though I also believe God uses a variety of different church models and ministry styles to reach people who don't yet know Him.

What I miss most from my previous church home is the ability for the church (or at least the core members/attenders) to sit around in one room and be able to dream together about the ministry to which God has called us. There's nothing quite like the sense of common purpose and unity in Spirit that comes from seeking Christ together and being on mission together. It seems to me like that's most effective in a smaller context.

I do feel like God is orchestrating this next step in my faith journey. I'm not sure yet what form it will take or how quickly it will happen, but I'm definitely excited about committing myself to a multiplying community.

Spend Your Time in Another Context

David Platt encourages his readers to spend 2% of their coming year (approximately 1 week) serving in another context. That could be on an overseas mission trip or simply an area of town that gets someone out of his/her comfort zone.

I love traveling, so an overseas trip seems like a logical choice; however, I have to check my motivation sometimes for taking trips like that. Though regardless of my motivation, I've always been challenged as a result of trips like that. Challenged and humbled. There are so many needs around the world. When I'm comfy at home, I barely even recognize those needs.

Another option: homeless ministry. I have some friends who have been going out to a local park every Thursday night for the past two years simply to have dinner with some of our city's homeless (or less-fortunate... as many of them have some place to stay). It's been an eye-opening experience, though I've been very inconsistent at going... here and there... as it's convenient.

Another context: Children's ministry?! ;) Surprising as it is, I was thinking here recently how much I've enjoyed my nieces when they've been in the 2-3 year old range. I wonder what it would be like to help with some pre-school aged kids either in a church or other context. That would definitely be out of my comfort zone. But, I think I might really enjoy it.

Sacrifice Your Money for a Specific Purpose

To be honest, I think I'm a little weird here. I'm pretty consistent at giving (tithing... and even beyond). That being said, giving SACRIFICIALLY is something all together different. It's easy to give when there's "excess." It's much more difficult when it cuts into my comfortable living.

I haven't been plugged into a specific church for awhile, so I've been challenged to know WHERE to give. I've been setting amounts aside and giving them as I feel led. It's been fun in some ways, I've still been giving through some churches I've been attending, but it's been fun to direct some of my "offerings" to individuals in need, missions and other special projects. It's a different feeling being able to see the final recipient of a gift. When I give through a church, I don't always get to see how those dollars are used (which is good in terms of requiring faith in God and church leaders to direct those funds). So, giving to smaller organizations and people provides a different kind of satisfaction. It's much more tangible.

Ideas for giving...

The purpose: foreign missions, homeless ministry, sponsor a child. I have an idea related to a specific individual, too.

The sacrifice: drop the little bit of cable I currently have ($15/mo), sell something... not sure what that would be, though. I actually keep a fairly trim budget. Maybe, at this point, it makes more sense to just DIRECT the funds I'm currently setting aside for giving? Or am I just rationalizing my own selfishness. Hrmmm...

To do items: email a friend to get an idea. Check.

Read Through the Entire Word

Good challenge. I really think there's nothing MORE important to read, and yet... I often find myself reading everything EXCEPT God's Word. I have read the entire Word. I'm embarrassed to say it took me several years, but I just kept working my way through a One Year Bible and finally made it to the end. I was back up through May last year when our small group decided to read it together. Fortunately it was right about May, so I picked up with them and read fairly consistently, though I know I skipped through a few sections to stay up with them. Regardless. I may pick up in May again and read through the end. No specific plan yet, though, which usually means trouble. Here are some ideas...

MORNING - I could get up early to read, though I have conflicts several mornings a week (unless I get up even earlier than early).

EVENINGS - Might be okay, but they can be sporadically busy. I do often watch TV before going to bed. I enjoy that routine, but that definitely isn't as important as being in God's Word. Reminds me that in high school that's when I did my most consistent Bible reading. Any better options?

LUNCH - I think that would be difficult and inconsistent... though I might be able to pull others in with me.

SPORADIC/WEEKENDS - Last year with our small group, I would find two or three times a week to hunker down and read several days worth in one sitting. That might be a possibility, but it tends to be inconsistent and easy to fall behind.

DAILY - Seems like a daily routine is more sustaining. I eat of food regularly... might as well do the same with my "daily bread."

Evenings sound like the best bet. If you're reading this now... be sure and ask me how I'm doing.

Reading tonight: in Deuteronomy & Luke (might as well pick up on April 4th)
Praying for: the country of Chile

Pray for the Entire World

Sounds overwhelming, doesn't it?! Okay, so to be completely honest, I don't pray enough anyway, But, in order to pray for the world, Platt recommended a website... Operation World. What struck me as highly ironic is that I accidentally wandered across this site not more than a couple of weeks ago. I was randomly looking up information online about Croatia (my family's homeland... back three generations). Croatia is just one of the countries included on the daily prayer list there.

So, even a couple of weeks ago, God's Spirit seemed to be leading me there. I began April 1st and have prayed so far for Central African Republic and Botswana. (Botswana seemed to be the country for both April 2nd and 3rd.) I've been praying for not only the people there, but also that God would raise up workers to send out into the field, for (as you may know) the fields are ripe unto harvest.

As a bonus... it may be good for honing my substandard geogrphy skills.

Winds of Change

The wind is crazy today. Even here inside my house, I feel like I have a thin layer of dust all over my body. I think some storms may roll in later. I absolutely LOVE storms. Maybe not storms that cause me to fear for my life, but I do love a good old fashioned thunderstorm. Rain, thunder, lightening. Ah... but for now we just have wind... and LOTS of it.

I just finished reading David Platt's book "Radical." Good read. I highly recommend it. That being said, I realized toward the end of the book that it's easy to read challenging books, dream of "radical" change in my life and then turn around to simply read another challenging book that will do the same. Fortunately this one challenges me to pursue the same things (for the most part) I'm naturally inclined to pursue... just fail at sometimes. Here is primary (five-part) gauntlet Platt throws down:

1. pray for the entire world;
2. read through the entire Word;
3. sacrifice your money for a specific purpose;
4. spend your time in another context;
5. commit your life to a multiplying community.

Since I have a lot to say on each of these, I'll spend the next five posts doing specifically that.

I'm as Shocked as You Are

So, it's crazy, isn't it?! I've had this blog for over six years now, and this is the first time I've ever given it a face lift. It was a little too easy, though, so I'm afraid it could now change with every whim and mood shift.

"Let's check the mood-o-meter!"

But, it's kind of a nice change, if you ask me. I've a feeling change is in the air anyway...

My Life on a (Virtual) Piece of Paper

There are nights like this, when I nearly believe it's possible to sit down and express the whole of my being - every feeling I'm feeling, every hope I have, every doubt, every struggle, every longing. It never fails, though. I sit down to type and realize that I could never possibly come close to capturing the totality of what it is to be me at this moment. Sure, I could describe some of my fears or my secret thoughts, as I've done a few times before; however, they are woefully inadequate to sum up my life. Isn't that what we all secretly want, though? To be known? To be understood? To be loved because of, or in spite of, those things?

It reminds me of something Donald Miller wrote about in his book, Blue Like Jazz: "There are some places only God can go." Maybe it's enough to know that.