The Return

So I went to Cosi again tonight... this time taking a couple of friends. The fireplace was on, and I ordered practically the same thing I did last time (sans chicken on the sandwich). But, when I received my order, it didn't look like I expected. (It had chicken on it.) I took it back up to the front, and the cashier said he thought I ordered it with chicken. At that point, I realized it was basically the same sandwich I ordered, only with chicken. So, I told him it was fine, and that I'd keep it. He said, "oh, I can remake it, it's not a problem." I assured him I was fine and went to sit back down. When he delivered my friend's food, he again stated that he could make me a new sandwich. Somewhere in there, he threw out a random comment that his "leg was bigger than I was." Now, it was kind of a funny comment, but as a former chub, I didn't mind it in the least. :) It wasn't much later at all when he brought me out a WHOLE new sandwich (I had only even ordered a half-sandwich in the first place)... sans chicken. It was very kind of him. He certainly didn't have to do that. But, I was impressed that he went above-and-beyond to take care of me. My friend just thought he was flirting with me. But either way... I'm an even bigger fan of Cosi now! Who said customer service is dead?! :)

Oh, and Happy Anniversary... TO ME!!

I just realized I began this blog four years ago exactly!!! Happy Anniversary, my dear little blog!! Here's to another four years! (Imagine me lifting my ceramic mug filled with a decaf, nonfat latte.)

A Cosi

I've only been twice now, but I've found a new little hideaway. I'm almost afriad to blog about it for the fear of being found out. But, I'm not sure I have much of a readership. And besides that, the restaurant may need more business to stay open. Granted, my two visits aren't enough to judge the financial health of the franchise, but I would hate for it to close given the fact that I've only just discovered it.

The restaurant is called, "Cosi." It's like a Panera Bread only with better food (imho) and a warmer, cozier atmosphere. There's a fireplace that warms the place up (physically and metaphorically), though I was disappointed to see it off this evening. I was informed by the cashier that it heats the place a bit too efficiently, so they've turned it off for the evening.

I'm about to take my first sip of an espresso drink... not much froth, but the taste is quite good (despite being decaf and non-fat... I'm trying to lay lower on the caffeine and trying to take off a few pounds I put on over the holidays).

The artwork is also enjoyable. It's exactly my taste - mostly impressionistic, with nice textures, great color schemes and beautiful scenes, many of them of natural settings.

What am I doing here tonight? I haven't decided exactly. I have several options.

1) I considered journaling a bit. I've done a fair amount of journaling over the last week. There is one thing I haven't journaled about that has been plaguing my thoughts for several days. It's a frustrating, recurring, thorn-in-the-flesh, if you will. I'm not quite sure how to break free of it. I used to assume it just affected me, but I'm beginning to realize it reaches well beyond myself. I'm wondering if there's any way of addressing it without causing a complete and total upheaval in the natural order of my social circles. :(

2) I brought a book that I purchased recently but haven't had much time to touch. It's called "Naked" by David Sedaris. The first chapter is quite unusual, but I've heard some good things about his writing. I know enough about Sedaris to know I probably don't agree with him much at all on political or social issues, but I don't believe that's the topic of his writing. Should I find that to be in error, I will most likely put the book down. (That's not to say I mind reading things from that represent a different view from mine; that's just not the reason I picked up this book.)

3) I thought about doing some work. January is a busy month for me. I have a lot of year-end projects (financial statements, contribution statements, IRS reporting - W-2s, W-3s, 1099s, 1096s, etc.) So, I thought I might work on some of that... or, possibly catch up on responding to some email I've been sitting on. I also need to nail down some details for some upcoming events around the church.

Which will I tackle? Maybe the work. :)

Leafing the Old Days Behind

Ah... it's taken awhile to get here, but I feel like our small group (and friends, in general) are beginning to develop some real community. We've met for a long time on Thursday nights and shared time in God's word. That's one kind of community, but the kind of community where we really dig into each others' lives has been a bit slower in coming.

Finally several weeks ago, we talked about ways we can really begin serving each other. (We've often gone out to serve others together, but we haven't done much to take care of each other.) One girl mentioned that she could use help in her classroom at school. The next night, several of us went to help her move some furniture and setup her classroom. Then, the following day, several people came over to help me rake my leaves. We were postponed due to wind and cold temperatures, but we picked it up again the following week.

Since then, we've come together several times to help on yards. I can't speak for anyone else, but it's been SUCH a blessing to have help on my yard. For the first year since I've owned my home, I haven't felt overwhelmed by the falling leaves. Not only has it relieved my stress, but it's been truly enjoyable to work along side friends and laughing with them... sometimes at them! :)

So... I'm sending a shout out to my leaf-raking friends! You guys are the best! Thanks for all the help. You have no idea how much it means to me!

My Apologies and Thoughts on E&H so far

So... I have been realizing that my blog has become a bit depressing. I'd like to blame that on Facebook. FB probably captures more of my happy-go-lucky randomness, whereas my blog catches the more reflective, sometimes depressing, deeper thoughts that can roll around in my head. I'll try to be cautious of that and return a bit of laughter and joy to blogosphere.

I've been reading through Ezra & Haggai. They're books I don't think about too often, and to be honest... I'm not really well-versed in that piece of history. But, I've been learning a lot and have been challenged by what I've read. Here are some of my thoughts...

God's incredible mercy to His people

The end of II Chronicles (36:16) says that the people rebelled until the point there was "no remedy left." God held out punishing Israel until there was no other way of bringing them back. It reminds me of II Peter 3:9-10a, "The Lord isn't really being slow about his promise to return, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to perish, so he is giving more time for everyone to repent. But the day of the Lord will come..." (emphasis mine)

More so, the book of Ezra opens with a decree from King Cyrus, who allows the Israelites to return to Jerusalem and begin rebuilding. What's cool is that God spoke through Isaiah 150 years earlier about Cyrus... BY NAME (Isaiah 44:28). But what's even more astounding is what God was doing. BEFORE Israel was even taken into captivity, God had prepared a way for them to return to Him!

The Devastation of Sin

When the Israelites began the Temple construction (Ezra 3:12), those who never saw the original Temple (built by King Solomon) were shouting for joy, but those who had seen the glory of the previous Temple were crying because the new Temple paled in comparison. It's an interesting reminder... God always invites us to return to Him, and there's always an opportunity to rebuild; however, sin has consequences, and we may carry the scars of our sin with us for a long time.

Haggai records God's encouragement to those who were saddened by the "lesser" Temple. Haggai 2:1-9 says that "the future glory of this Temple will be greater than its past glory." Jesus would one day walk in these Temple courts!

Priorities

In Haggai 1, God begins by saying, "consider your ways"… the NLT says something like "consider how things are going for you"… kind of like God was saying, "have you even stopped to NOTICE how your life is going or wondered why it's going that way? You're planting lots of seed but your harvest is pitiful. You eat and drink but never seem to be satisfied. You make a nice income, but it disappears like you have holes in your pocket. Haven't you wondered why that is?!" It seems like he wants to make sure they recognize how their lives change/improve when they finally put God first.

It's the same things God would say to us today… "consider your ways… haven't you ever wondered why you're stressed all the time, why you never seem to have enough money to pay your bills, why you're never satisfied with anything, why things never seem to go your way? Is it any wonder? You're so busy with your own agenda (work, friends, play) that you don't even remember I'm here. What do you think would happen if you put me first? Wouldn't be interesting to find out?" :)

So, those are some of my thoughts! Dig in for yourself, though. There's a lot of meat there!

The Hug to End All Hugs

A friend of mine in college (whose birthday, coincidentally, is today) once told me, "I just wish a guy would hug me like my Dad hugs me." Being the liberated college freshman I was, I retorted, "why would you want a GUY to hug you like your DAD hugs you?!"

Not long after that, I was having a rough day... probably something boy-related, but I honestly can't remember. I called home and talked to my Dad and retold the story above but adding that now I knew exactly what she meant. Talking to Dad on the phone was helpful, but I would have given anything to have someone give me a hug like my Daddy would give... strong, full of love and meaning, soft, comforting and protecting.

Oh how miss those hugs!

(I should note that I did get several of them last weekend when my Dad was in town! ... Just enough, maybe, to last me until Christmas when I can restock!)

Alone

What is it that makes us feel weak and pathetic when we admit our loneliness? God himself said that "it is not good for man to be alone." If God said it isn't good, shouldn't that legitimize our desire for companionship?

A Psalm

"A Psalm," written by Krista Rahija
(based on Psalm 107)

Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! His faithfulness endures forever.
Has the LORD redeemed you? The speak out!
Let me tell you how my God has saved me!

I was wandering around, lost in my own selfishness when Christ died for me.
I was drowning in my own foolishness and rebellion,
but as soon as I cried out, "LORD, help!" he saved me from myself.

When my dad was diagnosed with cancer,
I wondered what that would mean for me and my family.
As we cried out, "LORD, help!" God met us there.
He gave us His peace and comfort to hold on to.
He taught us that He is trustworthy and in control.

When I found myself in a relationship that didn't honor Him,
God allowed me to struggle in my thoughts and insecurity.
Finally I cried out, LORD, help!" He didn't hold it against me or turn His back on me.
He simply smiled and restored me.

In the times I grow discontent, and my life doesn't look like I expected,
I'm drawn into self pity and worry over my broken dreams.
I wallow for awhile before crying out, "LORD, help!"
But when I do, God restores my faith, renews my strength and rebuilds my heart

Those who are wise will take all this to heart;
they will see in my history the faithful love of the LORD.

Digits

So, I met some friends for lunch today... one of those places where you order at the counter, wait and then pick your food up at said counter. I was waiting with friends until they all had their food. At that point I was waiting alone. Alone, that is, until someone came up behind me to wait. He engaged me in a bit of conversation... over the weather and how people don't talk with strangers in public any more. He made some comment about "waiting for them to call my name" to figure out what my name was. I finally spoiled the surprise by introducing myself. He returned - "Danny." They soon called my name, and I commented to him that he was welcome to join our massive group outside. He said he was getting his food to go, but on his way out, he stopped by our table and handed me a piece of his receipt with his name and phone number written on it... along with a comment "good conversation!" Ha! I got a guy's phone number!! It was somewhat humorous... not to mention a bit embarrassing (given the group of people who witnessed it). But, I suppose on another hand it was flattering. And I suppose I could use a bit of flatter. :)

I doubt I'll call him (though it did cross my mind to call and invite him to our church). In fact, it probably won't be long before the receipt ends up in the washer with my jeans and is lost forever. It makes for a good story, though... no?

Which will you choose?

I watched the movie "Shadowlands" again last night. (Yes, Jessica... it's the one you brought over to go in the garage sale. It will be returned to the garage sale pile directly!) If you haven't seen it, it's about the life and love of author C.S. Lewis. It has so many interesting and thought-provoking points... some of which were taken directly from his writings.

1) Perfect love is only perfect when it is unattainable. Desire comes from the wanting, not from the having. (This was a point he made early on in the movie. His conclusions at the end of the movie would seem to replace this thought.)

2) We often learn more through pain and suffering than we do in the happiness of life.

3) "We read to know we're not alone." He seems to hit upon the question here of whether life imitates art or vice versa.

4) Lewis (played by Anthony Hopkins) ends the movie with this conclusion: "Why love if losing hurts so much? I have no answers any more, only the life I have lived. Twice in that life I've been given the choice - as a boy and as a man. The boy chose safety, the man chooses suffering. The pain now is part of the happiness then. That's the deal."

Some of these ideas are more fully developed in Lewis' works "The Problem of Pain" and "A Grief Observed"... both very good books.

Poverty

"The bread which you do not use is the bread of the hungry. The garment hanging in your wardrobe is the garment of the one who is naked. The shoes that you do not wear are the shoes of the one who is barefoot. The money you keep locked away is the money of the poor. The acts of charity you do not perform are so much injustices you commit."

-Saint Basil the Great

Little Black Dress

I loaned my little black dress to a friend some time ago, and she snagged a man (read: husband) with it. I was cleaning out my closet today and ran across it again today. Ah... memories. Miracle of miracles, it's actually too big for me now. After debating a bit, I think I may return it to my friend, who be able to use it... or maybe just save it for the memories.

I know you boys don't understand, and that' s okay. Time and again in the New Testament, there are comments about Mary (mother of Jesus)... "and she treasured these things in her heart." She knew what it was like... to store up memories... to reflect... to wonder... to analyze... to sigh and sink down into those sweet treasures.

Smelly

There are a couple of smells I'm struggling with lately. I'm not sure what it is, but I feel like there's a certain smell lingering around me, and I've somehow tied it to coffee and tuna. The coffee is a bit concerning, because I LOVE me some coffee, but I suppose I could live without tuna if I needed to. I'm just not sure what the sudden change is. Why would those smells somehow bother/concern me all of a sudden?

Someone assured me recently that I didn't have a lingering coffee/tuna/bad smell about me (thankfully!!!!), but it's concerning nonetheless. It's easy to lay low on the tuna, but I'm not quite ready to give up on the coffee... especially heading into Fall and Winter.

Hope you're not experiencing similar issues! (That comment is written for anyone who may possibly still be reading my blog. I realize I may be talking to myself here.)

"Krista, you can't do everything perfectly."

Someone gave me that advice once in the past year or two. Of and by itself, it sounds like pretty worldly advice... like we all have an excuse to live sloppy and godless lives. But, that wasn't the intent of the person giving the advice. In fact, it turned out to be fairly helpful advice for me. Sometimes the fear of making a mistake paralyzes me so much that I don't end up doing anything. If we're chasing after God and desire to honor Him with our lives, I think that frees us up to step out without fear. We may occasionally make a mistake. But, what better way is there to learn? The thing that makes us different as followers of Christ isn't that we don't mess up, it's that when we do, we own up to it, learn from it, make amends and keep on moving.

Fortune Cookies & the Promises of God

Psalm 37:4 - "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

My fortune cookie from lunch today - "You will get what your heart desires."

Common theme? Yes! Which caused my heart to jump more? Unfortunately the one baked and assembled in Taiwan (or wherever fortune cookies are made). Wouldn't it be nice if our hearts were stirred when we read the very promises of God? Isn't that what would happen if we really believed them to be true?!

Think on that!

Woody

I just discovered a little woodpecker pecking on my house. Seriously... it was right outside my window. There was this little knocking noise. I ignored it at first, but when I checked it out, there he was... pecking by my window.

Eagle Rock, MO

A few pictures from my weekend retreat...

Cliff Dive

Yesterday was the 5th Anniversary of The Gathering's first meeting as a Sunday School class (at SHBC). I was looking back in a journal recently, noting all the times I made comments in my prayers about being ready to take a "spiritual cliff dive." It's been pretty cool to look back and note that I stopped having to pray those prayers after getting involved with The Gathering. It's great feeling like I'm being used by God in a significant way, and I've been so blessed to be on staff now with the church and get to devote the best hours of my day to God's work there.

I was really encouraged last night. There was so much energy, and people I didn't recongize kept coming in (we had a high attendance of nearly 140 people). Eleven people are interesting in participating membership with our church, and we had so many people helping before and after the service!

Thanks, God, for YOUR faithfulness to YOUR church! Help us be good stewards of the people you send our way. :)

Risk Assessment

So I caught insurance commercial the other day. Most of the time I don't pay much attention to them, but for some reason I stopped and thought about this one. I don't recall which insurance company is was, but several times during the commercial, they said something to the effect of "there's nothing more important that your family's safety." At first that sounds very true. I mean, who would challenge the validity of that statment? Of course someone should be concerned with the safety and protection of his/her family.

BUT, in the depths of my heart I knew it was wrong. Safety sounds nice, but Jesus didn't call his followers to safety. In fact, he almost promised the opposite...

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33

"Jesus said to him, 'Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.' Still another said, 'I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family.' Jesus replied, 'No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.'" - Luke 9:60-62

God makes it pretty clear that protection of ourselves and our families is NOT to be our top priority. Our top priority should ALWAYS be to follow Him however He leads. I think of how many times I don't reach out a helping hand to someone in need because "it's just not safe." Unfortunately, I think we women are even more at fault for using that excuse. At what point are we supposed to stop trusting God for our protection and safety? And, if He chooses not to protect us in any given situation, who's to say there's not a greater purpose in that?

God, help me be a woman who follows your leading WHEREVER that takes me. I choose to trust You for my safety and protection... not myself.

Spoonfuls of Dirt

This is what I feel like when I'm mowing my "lawn"...