The Hug to End All Hugs

A friend of mine in college (whose birthday, coincidentally, is today) once told me, "I just wish a guy would hug me like my Dad hugs me." Being the liberated college freshman I was, I retorted, "why would you want a GUY to hug you like your DAD hugs you?!"

Not long after that, I was having a rough day... probably something boy-related, but I honestly can't remember. I called home and talked to my Dad and retold the story above but adding that now I knew exactly what she meant. Talking to Dad on the phone was helpful, but I would have given anything to have someone give me a hug like my Daddy would give... strong, full of love and meaning, soft, comforting and protecting.

Oh how miss those hugs!

(I should note that I did get several of them last weekend when my Dad was in town! ... Just enough, maybe, to last me until Christmas when I can restock!)

Alone

What is it that makes us feel weak and pathetic when we admit our loneliness? God himself said that "it is not good for man to be alone." If God said it isn't good, shouldn't that legitimize our desire for companionship?

A Psalm

"A Psalm," written by Krista Rahija
(based on Psalm 107)

Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! His faithfulness endures forever.
Has the LORD redeemed you? The speak out!
Let me tell you how my God has saved me!

I was wandering around, lost in my own selfishness when Christ died for me.
I was drowning in my own foolishness and rebellion,
but as soon as I cried out, "LORD, help!" he saved me from myself.

When my dad was diagnosed with cancer,
I wondered what that would mean for me and my family.
As we cried out, "LORD, help!" God met us there.
He gave us His peace and comfort to hold on to.
He taught us that He is trustworthy and in control.

When I found myself in a relationship that didn't honor Him,
God allowed me to struggle in my thoughts and insecurity.
Finally I cried out, LORD, help!" He didn't hold it against me or turn His back on me.
He simply smiled and restored me.

In the times I grow discontent, and my life doesn't look like I expected,
I'm drawn into self pity and worry over my broken dreams.
I wallow for awhile before crying out, "LORD, help!"
But when I do, God restores my faith, renews my strength and rebuilds my heart

Those who are wise will take all this to heart;
they will see in my history the faithful love of the LORD.

Digits

So, I met some friends for lunch today... one of those places where you order at the counter, wait and then pick your food up at said counter. I was waiting with friends until they all had their food. At that point I was waiting alone. Alone, that is, until someone came up behind me to wait. He engaged me in a bit of conversation... over the weather and how people don't talk with strangers in public any more. He made some comment about "waiting for them to call my name" to figure out what my name was. I finally spoiled the surprise by introducing myself. He returned - "Danny." They soon called my name, and I commented to him that he was welcome to join our massive group outside. He said he was getting his food to go, but on his way out, he stopped by our table and handed me a piece of his receipt with his name and phone number written on it... along with a comment "good conversation!" Ha! I got a guy's phone number!! It was somewhat humorous... not to mention a bit embarrassing (given the group of people who witnessed it). But, I suppose on another hand it was flattering. And I suppose I could use a bit of flatter. :)

I doubt I'll call him (though it did cross my mind to call and invite him to our church). In fact, it probably won't be long before the receipt ends up in the washer with my jeans and is lost forever. It makes for a good story, though... no?

Which will you choose?

I watched the movie "Shadowlands" again last night. (Yes, Jessica... it's the one you brought over to go in the garage sale. It will be returned to the garage sale pile directly!) If you haven't seen it, it's about the life and love of author C.S. Lewis. It has so many interesting and thought-provoking points... some of which were taken directly from his writings.

1) Perfect love is only perfect when it is unattainable. Desire comes from the wanting, not from the having. (This was a point he made early on in the movie. His conclusions at the end of the movie would seem to replace this thought.)

2) We often learn more through pain and suffering than we do in the happiness of life.

3) "We read to know we're not alone." He seems to hit upon the question here of whether life imitates art or vice versa.

4) Lewis (played by Anthony Hopkins) ends the movie with this conclusion: "Why love if losing hurts so much? I have no answers any more, only the life I have lived. Twice in that life I've been given the choice - as a boy and as a man. The boy chose safety, the man chooses suffering. The pain now is part of the happiness then. That's the deal."

Some of these ideas are more fully developed in Lewis' works "The Problem of Pain" and "A Grief Observed"... both very good books.

Poverty

"The bread which you do not use is the bread of the hungry. The garment hanging in your wardrobe is the garment of the one who is naked. The shoes that you do not wear are the shoes of the one who is barefoot. The money you keep locked away is the money of the poor. The acts of charity you do not perform are so much injustices you commit."

-Saint Basil the Great

Little Black Dress

I loaned my little black dress to a friend some time ago, and she snagged a man (read: husband) with it. I was cleaning out my closet today and ran across it again today. Ah... memories. Miracle of miracles, it's actually too big for me now. After debating a bit, I think I may return it to my friend, who be able to use it... or maybe just save it for the memories.

I know you boys don't understand, and that' s okay. Time and again in the New Testament, there are comments about Mary (mother of Jesus)... "and she treasured these things in her heart." She knew what it was like... to store up memories... to reflect... to wonder... to analyze... to sigh and sink down into those sweet treasures.

Smelly

There are a couple of smells I'm struggling with lately. I'm not sure what it is, but I feel like there's a certain smell lingering around me, and I've somehow tied it to coffee and tuna. The coffee is a bit concerning, because I LOVE me some coffee, but I suppose I could live without tuna if I needed to. I'm just not sure what the sudden change is. Why would those smells somehow bother/concern me all of a sudden?

Someone assured me recently that I didn't have a lingering coffee/tuna/bad smell about me (thankfully!!!!), but it's concerning nonetheless. It's easy to lay low on the tuna, but I'm not quite ready to give up on the coffee... especially heading into Fall and Winter.

Hope you're not experiencing similar issues! (That comment is written for anyone who may possibly still be reading my blog. I realize I may be talking to myself here.)

"Krista, you can't do everything perfectly."

Someone gave me that advice once in the past year or two. Of and by itself, it sounds like pretty worldly advice... like we all have an excuse to live sloppy and godless lives. But, that wasn't the intent of the person giving the advice. In fact, it turned out to be fairly helpful advice for me. Sometimes the fear of making a mistake paralyzes me so much that I don't end up doing anything. If we're chasing after God and desire to honor Him with our lives, I think that frees us up to step out without fear. We may occasionally make a mistake. But, what better way is there to learn? The thing that makes us different as followers of Christ isn't that we don't mess up, it's that when we do, we own up to it, learn from it, make amends and keep on moving.

Fortune Cookies & the Promises of God

Psalm 37:4 - "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

My fortune cookie from lunch today - "You will get what your heart desires."

Common theme? Yes! Which caused my heart to jump more? Unfortunately the one baked and assembled in Taiwan (or wherever fortune cookies are made). Wouldn't it be nice if our hearts were stirred when we read the very promises of God? Isn't that what would happen if we really believed them to be true?!

Think on that!

Woody

I just discovered a little woodpecker pecking on my house. Seriously... it was right outside my window. There was this little knocking noise. I ignored it at first, but when I checked it out, there he was... pecking by my window.

Eagle Rock, MO

A few pictures from my weekend retreat...

Cliff Dive

Yesterday was the 5th Anniversary of The Gathering's first meeting as a Sunday School class (at SHBC). I was looking back in a journal recently, noting all the times I made comments in my prayers about being ready to take a "spiritual cliff dive." It's been pretty cool to look back and note that I stopped having to pray those prayers after getting involved with The Gathering. It's great feeling like I'm being used by God in a significant way, and I've been so blessed to be on staff now with the church and get to devote the best hours of my day to God's work there.

I was really encouraged last night. There was so much energy, and people I didn't recongize kept coming in (we had a high attendance of nearly 140 people). Eleven people are interesting in participating membership with our church, and we had so many people helping before and after the service!

Thanks, God, for YOUR faithfulness to YOUR church! Help us be good stewards of the people you send our way. :)

Risk Assessment

So I caught insurance commercial the other day. Most of the time I don't pay much attention to them, but for some reason I stopped and thought about this one. I don't recall which insurance company is was, but several times during the commercial, they said something to the effect of "there's nothing more important that your family's safety." At first that sounds very true. I mean, who would challenge the validity of that statment? Of course someone should be concerned with the safety and protection of his/her family.

BUT, in the depths of my heart I knew it was wrong. Safety sounds nice, but Jesus didn't call his followers to safety. In fact, he almost promised the opposite...

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33

"Jesus said to him, 'Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.' Still another said, 'I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family.' Jesus replied, 'No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.'" - Luke 9:60-62

God makes it pretty clear that protection of ourselves and our families is NOT to be our top priority. Our top priority should ALWAYS be to follow Him however He leads. I think of how many times I don't reach out a helping hand to someone in need because "it's just not safe." Unfortunately, I think we women are even more at fault for using that excuse. At what point are we supposed to stop trusting God for our protection and safety? And, if He chooses not to protect us in any given situation, who's to say there's not a greater purpose in that?

God, help me be a woman who follows your leading WHEREVER that takes me. I choose to trust You for my safety and protection... not myself.

Spoonfuls of Dirt

This is what I feel like when I'm mowing my "lawn"...

A Lady

"And now his Armour being scour'd, his Head-Piece improv'd to a Helmet, his Horse and himself new nam'd, he perceiv'd he wanted nothing but a Lady, on whom he might bestow the Empire of his Heart; for he was sensible that a Knight-Errant without a Mistress, was a Tree without either Fruit or Leaves, and a Body without a Soul. Should I, said he to himself, by good or ill Fortune chance to encounter some Giant, as 'tis common in Knight-Errantry, and happen to lay him prostrate on the Ground, transfix'd with my Lance, or cleft in two, or, in short, overcome him, and have him at my Mercy, would it not be proper to have some Lady, to whom I may send him as a Trophy of my Valour?"

Cervantes, Don Quixote

Stages

I was reading bits from a book I just bought for $1.00 at my neighbor's garage sale - "SeinLanguage" by Jerry Seinfeld. DEE-lightful! Here's a quote toward the beginning of the book...

"I believe we're all secretly happy we can't figure our relationships out. It keeps our minds working. I think we have to be grateful for the one thing in our lives that keeps us from being totally focused on eating."

For some reason it reminded me of a conversation I had with a one-time suitor. He made some comment about how he was "enjoying this stage." Everything within me wanted to immediately cry out, "which stage are we in, and how many stages are there?" Instead, I simply agreed, "I'm enjoying this stage, too." And it was a nice stage (the only stage in that case).

I think I'm doing better at just enjoying the moments I have and not worrying too much about what lies ahead (or what doesn't lie ahead). It certainly makes the journey more enjoyable!

Truth (with a capital "T")

My last quotes (for now) from St. Augustine...

"Who teaches us? Only the unchangeable Truth. We can be admonished by a changeable creature. But the best a man can do is lead us to the unchangeable Truth. That is the only place where we can truly stand and hear and learn."

Isn't that true! As followers of Christ, our responsibility is to lead people to the Truth. So many times, we try to teach truth, or we try to learn truth from a million different sources around us. But, there is only one Truth. If we don't learn directly from Him, we risk being lead astray. We become those people who will gather around anyone who says what our "itching ears" want to hear.

If we claim to follow Christ, we can't neglect the constant and consistent reading of His Word and daily fellowship with Him in prayer.

Joy

"But Lord, keep me far from one error. May it be far from the heart of Your servant who here confesses unto You, that I should feel momentary earthly joy and suppose that I had reached true happiness. There is a joy that brings true happiness, but it is not given to the ungodly. It is only for those who love You for Your own sake.

That joy is to know You as You are. This is the happy life, to rejoice in You, of You, and for You. This is the happy life, and there is no other. They who think there is another, pursue some other. They are not on the track of true joy. Yet they still have that image of it inside that makes them run after what looks like some semblance of the real joy."

from The Confessions of St. Augustine

Body Parts

It always hurts when a body part is missing. What body part is missing, you ask? The heart.