Several weeks ago I watched my new favorite movie, "Dan in Real Life." I enjoyed the story, but even more so, I enjoyed watching the family-interaction in the movie. Dan and his three daughters joined their large, extended family for the holidays. The family spent time preparing meals, eating meals together, competing in crossword puzzles, playing football and performing in their annual talent show. It was so much fun to watch a family come together like that and truly enjoy each others' company.
I may have had a touch of that this weekend. I spent Thanksgiving (and the days surrounding it) at my parents' house in Kansas City. My brother and sister and their families were all around as well. My parents are refinishing their upstairs, so there's been lots of painting to do. When some were painting, some were watching the girls and others were preparing meals. My parents have a new hot tub, too, so we all took turns relaxing after all the hard work.
Some of my favorite memories from the weekend include the following:
Going to Grandparents' day at my eldest niece's (Erin's) school. She had written and illustrated a "story" about the time she and I went to see a movie. I'm apparently "Ant Cerest." (She's still working on her spelling.) But my head grew a bit when her teacher mentioned hearing a lot about Erin's Aunt Krista. :)
Playing with my fifteen-month old niece, Ember. She has a smile that can melt your heart. I tried to get some pictures, so I'll try to post one later. She's generally a very happy child... mainly getting upset when her mom is away or unable to hold her for some reason. I was happy to play substitute for mom from time-to-time. There's something unbelievably touching about when a young child like that prefers you over every other person around. They look into your eyes like they're looking into your soul. That may be love in its truest form.
Baking two pumpkin pies with Erin. She's just learning how to read, so she helped by reading the recipe and then helping me measure out the ingredients. She also did a great job preparing the pie crust. We also painted together this afternoon. She kept telling me I was "fake painting," because I was just cutting-in (planning to roll the walls later). The section she was doing, she did all by hand... "the old fashioned way." (I'm not sure anyone told her that she was painting the wall that would be covered up by the washer and dryer!)
Painting along side my sister, my brother, my brother-in-law and my Dad. We shared stories of old and quite a few laughs. Some of the highlights were Michelle leaning back into a wall David had painted and leaving a nice butt print. David scolded Avery (3) and Natalie (4) at some point for rough-housing in one of the newly painted rooms. He said to them, "and if you mess up these walls, are YOU going to want to repaint them?!" To which they both replied, "YES!!" :) That kind of backfired on him. John and I enjoyed some nice conversation and mended some fences that had been knocked down a long time ago.
Cooking dinner for the fam. Though I would have enjoyed painting more yesterday, I baked a couple of pies (with Erin) and then made chili for lunch/dinner. At some point Michelle pitched in and made some scrumptious cornbread to go with it. We also spent some time cleaning and straightening the house. With eleven of us packed in here, that was an unending task.
I think what I enjoyed the most was just having the whole family together and seeing everyone chip in to help out. No complaining, no whining (from the adults, anyway)... just a great sense of gratitude and thankfulness for the time together. There was also a sense of wanting to honor Mom and Dad by helping with the upstairs project. They've done so much for each of us over the last thirty-five years. They give and give and give... and, unfortunately, don't always get much back. It really was a meaningful time being able to serve them in some special ways.
So... in summary, it really has been a Happy Thanksgiving!! Maybe the best one yet!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thanksgiving... the day(s) after
I feel like I'm mourning a bit today (and lately). Is it possible to mourn and be grateful at the same time, or is mourning simply a sign that I'm not grateful for the current blessings in my life?
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
And apparently I DO need a man...
... to open bottles for me, at least. I got a nice blister trying to open a bottle of soy sauce this past weekend.
But more seriously, I'm trying to make some big life decisions right now. It'd be nice to have a husband's counsel to lean on.
But more seriously, I'm trying to make some big life decisions right now. It'd be nice to have a husband's counsel to lean on.
Missouri
So I've been in Missouri the past few days, and here are some of the interesting things I saw...
A sign on the compartment of a semi-truck that said, "Fire Putter Outter Inside."
State Fair Community College - I love the State Fair as much as the next guy, but is that (carnies, mullets, cigarette-smoking twelve year olds, etc.) the connotation you want for an institution of higher learning?
A town called "Knob Noster."
A sign on the compartment of a semi-truck that said, "Fire Putter Outter Inside."
State Fair Community College - I love the State Fair as much as the next guy, but is that (carnies, mullets, cigarette-smoking twelve year olds, etc.) the connotation you want for an institution of higher learning?
A town called "Knob Noster."
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Soul Searching
I'm on a sort of soul-searching mission. I believe my purpose for being on this earth is to bring glory to God, but I realize there are millions of more specific ways I can do that.
Initial thought(s):
PEOPLE - I know my more specific role has something to do with people. (Again, duh.) But this is my second official day off from work, and I've already realized that I've been neglecting some people. I mean, I see people all the time and am drawn to be in community; however, I wonder if I've been busy meeting with people in a task-oriented (work) sense and neglecting the deeper soul-issues of meeting with people. Some things I'm thinking of tackling in the next few weeks include: reaching out to some old friends, encouraging some people around me, finding ways to thank people who have been involved in my life, being more open to people, spending some quality time with my nieces, etc. Those things get me really excited, but they're things I've failed to do much of lately.
HUMILITY - Check out John 13. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty familiar with the story of Jesus washing the disciples' feet. I've read it a hundred times (at least) and feel like I get the point. HOWEVER, I was reading it yesterday and focused in on verse 3... "Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God..." Wow! I can't imagine that... having been given ULTIMATE POWER and AUTHORITY, the FIRST thing Jesus does is to get a towel and basin, strip down and wash the feet of his friends... and even of his "enemy" (Judas). I can't imagine that would be my first instinct.
The crazy thing is, God has given us power through his Holy Spirit. In fact, in the next chapter of John, Jesus tells us that we may ask for anything in His name, and he will do it. It's easy to take that and get excited about all the selfish things i could do with that kind of power. Yet, Jesus is clear to tell us that the PURPOSE for asking things in his name is "so that the Son may bring glory to the Father."
I wish my prayers were for THAT purpose only, and that through the power of the Holy Spirit, I would be drawn toward humility... toward picking up a towel and serving those around me.
Initial thought(s):
PEOPLE - I know my more specific role has something to do with people. (Again, duh.) But this is my second official day off from work, and I've already realized that I've been neglecting some people. I mean, I see people all the time and am drawn to be in community; however, I wonder if I've been busy meeting with people in a task-oriented (work) sense and neglecting the deeper soul-issues of meeting with people. Some things I'm thinking of tackling in the next few weeks include: reaching out to some old friends, encouraging some people around me, finding ways to thank people who have been involved in my life, being more open to people, spending some quality time with my nieces, etc. Those things get me really excited, but they're things I've failed to do much of lately.
HUMILITY - Check out John 13. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty familiar with the story of Jesus washing the disciples' feet. I've read it a hundred times (at least) and feel like I get the point. HOWEVER, I was reading it yesterday and focused in on verse 3... "Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God..." Wow! I can't imagine that... having been given ULTIMATE POWER and AUTHORITY, the FIRST thing Jesus does is to get a towel and basin, strip down and wash the feet of his friends... and even of his "enemy" (Judas). I can't imagine that would be my first instinct.
The crazy thing is, God has given us power through his Holy Spirit. In fact, in the next chapter of John, Jesus tells us that we may ask for anything in His name, and he will do it. It's easy to take that and get excited about all the selfish things i could do with that kind of power. Yet, Jesus is clear to tell us that the PURPOSE for asking things in his name is "so that the Son may bring glory to the Father."
I wish my prayers were for THAT purpose only, and that through the power of the Holy Spirit, I would be drawn toward humility... toward picking up a towel and serving those around me.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Paul & Barnabas
Acts 15:36-41 (NIV)
Disagreement Between Paul and Barnabas
"Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, "Let us go back and visit the brothers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing." Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches."
I heard a sermon on this passage yesterday. And though I'm familiar with the passage, I thought the pastor added some great insights...
Paul and Barnabas were good friends. Acts 9: 26-27 explains that Paul was shunned by Jesus' disciples until Barnabas welcomed him into the circle and explained that his conversion was legitimate. It was this friendship that was brought into conflict when Paul and Barnabas were picking a team for an upcoming mission. Barnabas wanted to include his cousin, John Mark, but Paul had been burned by John Mark when he deserted a team on a previous mission. He showed either some spiritual immaturity or possibly a lack of ability to handle the pressures of this kind of mission work. The division was so sharp that Paul and Barnabas agreed to disagree and built two separate teams.
PRINCIPLE #1: The MISSION is greater than the CONFLICT.
There may be a time to break relationship over principles and truth. BUT... you should make absolutely sure that they are BIBLICAL principles and truth. Too many times we let other things cloud our decision to break relationship - pride, for example. But, we need to also recognize that people can change. You may need them in the future and/or they may need you. We should make every attempt not to burn bridges.
PRINCIPLE #2: Even if you have to change a relationship, don't write people off.
I hadn't really considered it before, but reading Paul's words in II Timothy 4:11, "Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry." I appears that John Mark matured in his faith and became an asset to Paul in his ministry.
PRINCIPLE #3: What action will bring God the most glory?
Shouldn't this ALWAYS be the question in the forefront of our minds?!
Finally, whatever the conflict, choose...
Principle... Not Pride
Humility... Not Power
Unity... Not Independence
Peace... Not Turmoil (Rom 12:18)
Love... Not Accommodation
Disagreement Between Paul and Barnabas
"Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, "Let us go back and visit the brothers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing." Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches."
I heard a sermon on this passage yesterday. And though I'm familiar with the passage, I thought the pastor added some great insights...
Paul and Barnabas were good friends. Acts 9: 26-27 explains that Paul was shunned by Jesus' disciples until Barnabas welcomed him into the circle and explained that his conversion was legitimate. It was this friendship that was brought into conflict when Paul and Barnabas were picking a team for an upcoming mission. Barnabas wanted to include his cousin, John Mark, but Paul had been burned by John Mark when he deserted a team on a previous mission. He showed either some spiritual immaturity or possibly a lack of ability to handle the pressures of this kind of mission work. The division was so sharp that Paul and Barnabas agreed to disagree and built two separate teams.
PRINCIPLE #1: The MISSION is greater than the CONFLICT.
There may be a time to break relationship over principles and truth. BUT... you should make absolutely sure that they are BIBLICAL principles and truth. Too many times we let other things cloud our decision to break relationship - pride, for example. But, we need to also recognize that people can change. You may need them in the future and/or they may need you. We should make every attempt not to burn bridges.
PRINCIPLE #2: Even if you have to change a relationship, don't write people off.
I hadn't really considered it before, but reading Paul's words in II Timothy 4:11, "Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry." I appears that John Mark matured in his faith and became an asset to Paul in his ministry.
PRINCIPLE #3: What action will bring God the most glory?
Shouldn't this ALWAYS be the question in the forefront of our minds?!
Finally, whatever the conflict, choose...
Principle... Not Pride
Humility... Not Power
Unity... Not Independence
Peace... Not Turmoil (Rom 12:18)
Love... Not Accommodation
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Receipts
So, I'm cleaning out a large pile of receipts I've been collecting for a few years. One the back of an April 2007 receipt I have written the following...
Cat
Sly, Aloof, Frisky
Black
Dark, Dreary, Lonely
Atlantic Ocean
Cold, Wet, Wavy
Cat
Sly, Aloof, Frisky
Black
Dark, Dreary, Lonely
Atlantic Ocean
Cold, Wet, Wavy
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
The Desert
Psalm 63
A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.
1 O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.
9 They who seek my life will be destroyed;
they will go down to the depths of the earth.
10 They will be given over to the sword
and become food for jackals.
11 But the king will rejoice in God;
all who swear by God's name will praise him,
while the mouths of liars will be silenced.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Servanthood
I was reminded today that servanthood most often means doing what you DON'T want to do when you DON'T want to do it. It's a lot easier to "serve" others when the task is easy or convenient. But Christ set the supreme example by going somewhere he really didn't want to go and doing something he really didn't want to do. Why did he do it? Because he was a servant.
Phil 2: 12-16
"Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing."
Phil 2: 12-16
"Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing."
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Risk & Failure
I read something recently that struck me... "Failure is our master teacher, and those who do not know this teacher well tend to be short-termers in the growth process." (Cloud & Townsend)
So many people I know are paralyzed by the fear of failure and, as a result, risk nothing. It's unfortunate, really, because there's so much to be gained in life. But, most of what there is to gain is only attained by taking a risk.
I've always considered myself to be a risk-taker, and yet, I feel like I've shrunk back some... played it safe, sat out one too many dances. It'd be nice to turn that around. It's difficult to think one can please God without taking risks. Isn't that what faith is all about in the first place?! (Hebrews 11:6) Faith is a risk. Faith in God may just be the ultimate risk.
Why not go all out?
So many people I know are paralyzed by the fear of failure and, as a result, risk nothing. It's unfortunate, really, because there's so much to be gained in life. But, most of what there is to gain is only attained by taking a risk.
I've always considered myself to be a risk-taker, and yet, I feel like I've shrunk back some... played it safe, sat out one too many dances. It'd be nice to turn that around. It's difficult to think one can please God without taking risks. Isn't that what faith is all about in the first place?! (Hebrews 11:6) Faith is a risk. Faith in God may just be the ultimate risk.
Why not go all out?
Friday, August 14, 2009
By Memory...
"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail. But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:25-26
You might want to check it. I think it's close, but there may be a "the" or "this" before earth. :)
The second sentence is particularly challenging to me. I mean, can I honestly say there's nothing on earth I desire besides God? I wish that were the case, but I find myself desiring all kinds of things... new clothes, security/safety, people/relationships, a vacation, and on and on. Now I know in my head that none of that compares to God, but my heart doesn't always follow. Maybe that's what the third sentence means. I'd like to re-write it in the KST (Krista Standard Translation) to say "my flesh and my heart WILL fail." That seems more appropriate and realistic. Fortunately that's countered by the last line! The NLT says "God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever." I like that. He is MINE... FOREVER!! (Whom have I in heaven but YOU?!) What else on this earth can I really claim as MINE? It's all His, really. He may entrust some of it to me, but He doesn't want me to desire it more than Him.
God, help me desire you above all else.
You might want to check it. I think it's close, but there may be a "the" or "this" before earth. :)
The second sentence is particularly challenging to me. I mean, can I honestly say there's nothing on earth I desire besides God? I wish that were the case, but I find myself desiring all kinds of things... new clothes, security/safety, people/relationships, a vacation, and on and on. Now I know in my head that none of that compares to God, but my heart doesn't always follow. Maybe that's what the third sentence means. I'd like to re-write it in the KST (Krista Standard Translation) to say "my flesh and my heart WILL fail." That seems more appropriate and realistic. Fortunately that's countered by the last line! The NLT says "God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever." I like that. He is MINE... FOREVER!! (Whom have I in heaven but YOU?!) What else on this earth can I really claim as MINE? It's all His, really. He may entrust some of it to me, but He doesn't want me to desire it more than Him.
God, help me desire you above all else.
Blog Longing
It's been way too long since I've blogged, but that doesn't mean I haven't had things to say. For instance I've thought about blogging on the following topics...
What's the difference between "praise" and "honor"?
My thoughts on Psalm 73:25-26, which I've been memorizing.
The difficulties I have maintaining friendships with women.
The difficulties I have being friends with men.
Spiritual growth... how it often happens as a result of conflict.
How much I enjoy Nutella. :P
I'm sure there are more. Part of the difficulty is that I forget most of the topics I have in my head as soon as I sit down to address them. So, I might as well begin somewhere. (stay posted)
What's the difference between "praise" and "honor"?
My thoughts on Psalm 73:25-26, which I've been memorizing.
The difficulties I have maintaining friendships with women.
The difficulties I have being friends with men.
Spiritual growth... how it often happens as a result of conflict.
How much I enjoy Nutella. :P
I'm sure there are more. Part of the difficulty is that I forget most of the topics I have in my head as soon as I sit down to address them. So, I might as well begin somewhere. (stay posted)
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Romans 8:18-25
I thought the Jeremy Camp video relates so perfectly to the 4/18 post. It also reminded me of this scripture...
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.
We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."
Romans 8:18-25
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.
We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."
Romans 8:18-25
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
"Love in the Time of Cholera"
On a whim, the heroine rejected her heart's love to marry another. The author, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, wrote that "she erased him completely, and in the space that he had occupied in her memory she allowed a field of poppies to bloom."
Monday, April 20, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
The Pain that Gives Way to Joy
Excerpts from "The Problem of Pain" by C.S. Lewis, from his chapter on "Heaven":
"There have been times when I think we do not desire heaven; but more often I find myself wondering whether, in our heart of hearts, we have ever desired anything else. You may have noticed that the books you really love are bound together by a secret thread. You know very well what is the common quality that makes you love them, though you cannot put it into words; but most of your friends do not see it at all, and often wonder why, liking this, you should also like that. Again, you have stood before some landscape, which seems to embody what you have been looking for all your life, and then turned to the friend at your side who appears to be seeing what you saw - but at the first words a gulf yawns between you, and you realise that this landscape means something totally different to him, that he is pursuing an alien vision and cares nothing for the ineffable suggestion by which you are transported. Even in your hobbies, has there not always been some secret attraction which the others are curiously ignorant of - something, not to be identified with, but always on the verge of breaking through, the smell of cut woood in the workshop or the clap-clap of water against the boat's side? Are not all lifelong friendships born at the moment when at last you meet another human being who has some inkling (but faint and uncertain even in the best) of that something which you were born desiring, and which, beneath the flux of other desires and in all the momentary silences between the louder passions, night and day, year by year, from childhood to old age, you are looking for, watching for, listening for? You have never had it. All the things that have ever deeply possessed your soul have been but hints of it - tantalising glimpses, promises never quite fulfilled, echoes that died away just as they caught your ear. But if it should really become manifest - if there ever came an echo that did not die away but swelled into the sound itself - you would know it. Beyond all possibility of doubt you would say 'Here at last is the thing I was made for.' We cannot tell each other about it. It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want, the thing we desired before we met our wives or made our friends or chose our work, and which we shall still desire on our deathbeds, when the mind no longer knows wife or friend or work. While we are, this is. If we lose this, we lose all."
I wonder sometimes if the hurts and disappointments in life serve only (or at least partially) to remind us that we were not created for this life. We're always left with a deep-seated longing in our soul, because this is not what we were ultimately created for. In John 16, Jesus is preparing his disciples for his coming death...
"Truly, you will weep and mourn over what is going to happen to me, but the world will rejoice. You will grieve, but your grief will suddenly turn to wonderful joy when you see me again. It will be like a woman experiencing the pains of labor. When her child is born, her anguish gives place to joy... You have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy." (John 16:20-22)
He seemed to say, "I know it will be difficult, but hang on... my death is not the end of the story. When you know the full story, you will have cause to rejoice."
"Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarify. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now." (I Corinthians 13:12)
So, I guess the lesson is... I don't know the full story. The unfulfilled desires of my heart serve to point me to Christ and the day I will be with Him. LORD, haste that day! In the meantime, help me keep my eyes focused securely on You.
"There have been times when I think we do not desire heaven; but more often I find myself wondering whether, in our heart of hearts, we have ever desired anything else. You may have noticed that the books you really love are bound together by a secret thread. You know very well what is the common quality that makes you love them, though you cannot put it into words; but most of your friends do not see it at all, and often wonder why, liking this, you should also like that. Again, you have stood before some landscape, which seems to embody what you have been looking for all your life, and then turned to the friend at your side who appears to be seeing what you saw - but at the first words a gulf yawns between you, and you realise that this landscape means something totally different to him, that he is pursuing an alien vision and cares nothing for the ineffable suggestion by which you are transported. Even in your hobbies, has there not always been some secret attraction which the others are curiously ignorant of - something, not to be identified with, but always on the verge of breaking through, the smell of cut woood in the workshop or the clap-clap of water against the boat's side? Are not all lifelong friendships born at the moment when at last you meet another human being who has some inkling (but faint and uncertain even in the best) of that something which you were born desiring, and which, beneath the flux of other desires and in all the momentary silences between the louder passions, night and day, year by year, from childhood to old age, you are looking for, watching for, listening for? You have never had it. All the things that have ever deeply possessed your soul have been but hints of it - tantalising glimpses, promises never quite fulfilled, echoes that died away just as they caught your ear. But if it should really become manifest - if there ever came an echo that did not die away but swelled into the sound itself - you would know it. Beyond all possibility of doubt you would say 'Here at last is the thing I was made for.' We cannot tell each other about it. It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want, the thing we desired before we met our wives or made our friends or chose our work, and which we shall still desire on our deathbeds, when the mind no longer knows wife or friend or work. While we are, this is. If we lose this, we lose all."
I wonder sometimes if the hurts and disappointments in life serve only (or at least partially) to remind us that we were not created for this life. We're always left with a deep-seated longing in our soul, because this is not what we were ultimately created for. In John 16, Jesus is preparing his disciples for his coming death...
"Truly, you will weep and mourn over what is going to happen to me, but the world will rejoice. You will grieve, but your grief will suddenly turn to wonderful joy when you see me again. It will be like a woman experiencing the pains of labor. When her child is born, her anguish gives place to joy... You have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy." (John 16:20-22)
He seemed to say, "I know it will be difficult, but hang on... my death is not the end of the story. When you know the full story, you will have cause to rejoice."
"Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarify. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now." (I Corinthians 13:12)
So, I guess the lesson is... I don't know the full story. The unfulfilled desires of my heart serve to point me to Christ and the day I will be with Him. LORD, haste that day! In the meantime, help me keep my eyes focused securely on You.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
National Poetry Month
In honor of, I'll share the first poem I ever wrote. It was an English sonnet I had to write for a high school English class. So... go easy on me. :)
(It apparently has no name)
The gardener dropped the seed, my love to sow
It represents a love meant just for one
This seed will bloom for him I not yet know
Its growth unseen, I know it has begun.
The elements of love will make it grow
Compassion, warmth and faith shine as the sun
So delicate upon the earth below
Hard times, forgiveness, o're the ground shall run.
The healing power in love shall fall as rain
Upon the sprout new life shall start to flow
No death, nor storm may split this love in twain
And as it buds a gentle breeze may blow.
At last, my love, the flow'r, look and behold
As delicate, lush petals now unfold!
My teacher's comments:
2nd line -- > meter is rough
interesting metaphor seed/love
rhyme scheme not marked
Grade: 37/43
(It apparently has no name)
The gardener dropped the seed, my love to sow
It represents a love meant just for one
This seed will bloom for him I not yet know
Its growth unseen, I know it has begun.
The elements of love will make it grow
Compassion, warmth and faith shine as the sun
So delicate upon the earth below
Hard times, forgiveness, o're the ground shall run.
The healing power in love shall fall as rain
Upon the sprout new life shall start to flow
No death, nor storm may split this love in twain
And as it buds a gentle breeze may blow.
At last, my love, the flow'r, look and behold
As delicate, lush petals now unfold!
My teacher's comments:
2nd line -- > meter is rough
interesting metaphor seed/love
rhyme scheme not marked
Grade: 37/43
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
I'm Back
I'm back from India. Here's a little taste (not sure how long this link will be available).
As I was unpacking, I took these notes...
Things I packed but didn't use:
4 pair of underwear (and yes... I DID wear a clean pair every day. These were simply extras.)
1 book I didn't touch at all
ipod charger
glasses/spare contacts/contact solution
hydrocortisone cream
compact paper towels
bath towel
Things I wished I had brought:
a flashlight
Things I'm surprised I used (and glad I had!):
an umbrella
ear plugs (the wild dogs of India bark loudly at night!!)
a bandaid
a washcloth (I was surprised the hotel had towels but NOT washcloths)
Things I brought and WISHED I'd used:
gloves - it was freezing in London, but I forgot them in the hotel
So, overall, I packed just what I needed. If I were doing it again, I would have sent out some laundry in India. (A couple of people did that late in the week and gave positive feedback.) I don't think I've ever packed that efficiently!!
As I was unpacking, I took these notes...
Things I packed but didn't use:
4 pair of underwear (and yes... I DID wear a clean pair every day. These were simply extras.)
1 book I didn't touch at all
ipod charger
glasses/spare contacts/contact solution
hydrocortisone cream
compact paper towels
bath towel
Things I wished I had brought:
a flashlight
Things I'm surprised I used (and glad I had!):
an umbrella
ear plugs (the wild dogs of India bark loudly at night!!)
a bandaid
a washcloth (I was surprised the hotel had towels but NOT washcloths)
Things I brought and WISHED I'd used:
gloves - it was freezing in London, but I forgot them in the hotel
So, overall, I packed just what I needed. If I were doing it again, I would have sent out some laundry in India. (A couple of people did that late in the week and gave positive feedback.) I don't think I've ever packed that efficiently!!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
One word
I know, I know, ... but these things are addicting!
Where is your cell phone: here
Your hair: shoulder-length
Your mother: friend
Your father: loving
Your favorite thing: flowers
Your dream last night: strange
Your favorite drink: coffee
Your dream/goal: family
The room you are in: office
Your fear: alone
Where do you want to be in 6 years: breathing
Muffins: pumpkin
One of your wish list items: books
Where you grew up: Tongie
The last thing you did: toenails
What are you wearing: sweats
Your TV: borrowed
Your pets: none
Your computer: old
Your life: optimistic
Your mood: excited
Missing someone: no
Your car: sparklies
Favorite store: gap
Your summer: distant
Favorite color: blue?
When is the last time you laughed: today
Last time you cried: work
Someone who emails me: everyone
Favorite food: all
Place I would rather be right now: skiing
Where is your cell phone: here
Your hair: shoulder-length
Your mother: friend
Your father: loving
Your favorite thing: flowers
Your dream last night: strange
Your favorite drink: coffee
Your dream/goal: family
The room you are in: office
Your fear: alone
Where do you want to be in 6 years: breathing
Muffins: pumpkin
One of your wish list items: books
Where you grew up: Tongie
The last thing you did: toenails
What are you wearing: sweats
Your TV: borrowed
Your pets: none
Your computer: old
Your life: optimistic
Your mood: excited
Missing someone: no
Your car: sparklies
Favorite store: gap
Your summer: distant
Favorite color: blue?
When is the last time you laughed: today
Last time you cried: work
Someone who emails me: everyone
Favorite food: all
Place I would rather be right now: skiing
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