Smelly

There are a couple of smells I'm struggling with lately. I'm not sure what it is, but I feel like there's a certain smell lingering around me, and I've somehow tied it to coffee and tuna. The coffee is a bit concerning, because I LOVE me some coffee, but I suppose I could live without tuna if I needed to. I'm just not sure what the sudden change is. Why would those smells somehow bother/concern me all of a sudden?

Someone assured me recently that I didn't have a lingering coffee/tuna/bad smell about me (thankfully!!!!), but it's concerning nonetheless. It's easy to lay low on the tuna, but I'm not quite ready to give up on the coffee... especially heading into Fall and Winter.

Hope you're not experiencing similar issues! (That comment is written for anyone who may possibly still be reading my blog. I realize I may be talking to myself here.)

"Krista, you can't do everything perfectly."

Someone gave me that advice once in the past year or two. Of and by itself, it sounds like pretty worldly advice... like we all have an excuse to live sloppy and godless lives. But, that wasn't the intent of the person giving the advice. In fact, it turned out to be fairly helpful advice for me. Sometimes the fear of making a mistake paralyzes me so much that I don't end up doing anything. If we're chasing after God and desire to honor Him with our lives, I think that frees us up to step out without fear. We may occasionally make a mistake. But, what better way is there to learn? The thing that makes us different as followers of Christ isn't that we don't mess up, it's that when we do, we own up to it, learn from it, make amends and keep on moving.

Fortune Cookies & the Promises of God

Psalm 37:4 - "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

My fortune cookie from lunch today - "You will get what your heart desires."

Common theme? Yes! Which caused my heart to jump more? Unfortunately the one baked and assembled in Taiwan (or wherever fortune cookies are made). Wouldn't it be nice if our hearts were stirred when we read the very promises of God? Isn't that what would happen if we really believed them to be true?!

Think on that!

Woody

I just discovered a little woodpecker pecking on my house. Seriously... it was right outside my window. There was this little knocking noise. I ignored it at first, but when I checked it out, there he was... pecking by my window.

Eagle Rock, MO

A few pictures from my weekend retreat...

Cliff Dive

Yesterday was the 5th Anniversary of The Gathering's first meeting as a Sunday School class (at SHBC). I was looking back in a journal recently, noting all the times I made comments in my prayers about being ready to take a "spiritual cliff dive." It's been pretty cool to look back and note that I stopped having to pray those prayers after getting involved with The Gathering. It's great feeling like I'm being used by God in a significant way, and I've been so blessed to be on staff now with the church and get to devote the best hours of my day to God's work there.

I was really encouraged last night. There was so much energy, and people I didn't recongize kept coming in (we had a high attendance of nearly 140 people). Eleven people are interesting in participating membership with our church, and we had so many people helping before and after the service!

Thanks, God, for YOUR faithfulness to YOUR church! Help us be good stewards of the people you send our way. :)

Risk Assessment

So I caught insurance commercial the other day. Most of the time I don't pay much attention to them, but for some reason I stopped and thought about this one. I don't recall which insurance company is was, but several times during the commercial, they said something to the effect of "there's nothing more important that your family's safety." At first that sounds very true. I mean, who would challenge the validity of that statment? Of course someone should be concerned with the safety and protection of his/her family.

BUT, in the depths of my heart I knew it was wrong. Safety sounds nice, but Jesus didn't call his followers to safety. In fact, he almost promised the opposite...

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33

"Jesus said to him, 'Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.' Still another said, 'I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family.' Jesus replied, 'No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.'" - Luke 9:60-62

God makes it pretty clear that protection of ourselves and our families is NOT to be our top priority. Our top priority should ALWAYS be to follow Him however He leads. I think of how many times I don't reach out a helping hand to someone in need because "it's just not safe." Unfortunately, I think we women are even more at fault for using that excuse. At what point are we supposed to stop trusting God for our protection and safety? And, if He chooses not to protect us in any given situation, who's to say there's not a greater purpose in that?

God, help me be a woman who follows your leading WHEREVER that takes me. I choose to trust You for my safety and protection... not myself.

Spoonfuls of Dirt

This is what I feel like when I'm mowing my "lawn"...

A Lady

"And now his Armour being scour'd, his Head-Piece improv'd to a Helmet, his Horse and himself new nam'd, he perceiv'd he wanted nothing but a Lady, on whom he might bestow the Empire of his Heart; for he was sensible that a Knight-Errant without a Mistress, was a Tree without either Fruit or Leaves, and a Body without a Soul. Should I, said he to himself, by good or ill Fortune chance to encounter some Giant, as 'tis common in Knight-Errantry, and happen to lay him prostrate on the Ground, transfix'd with my Lance, or cleft in two, or, in short, overcome him, and have him at my Mercy, would it not be proper to have some Lady, to whom I may send him as a Trophy of my Valour?"

Cervantes, Don Quixote

Stages

I was reading bits from a book I just bought for $1.00 at my neighbor's garage sale - "SeinLanguage" by Jerry Seinfeld. DEE-lightful! Here's a quote toward the beginning of the book...

"I believe we're all secretly happy we can't figure our relationships out. It keeps our minds working. I think we have to be grateful for the one thing in our lives that keeps us from being totally focused on eating."

For some reason it reminded me of a conversation I had with a one-time suitor. He made some comment about how he was "enjoying this stage." Everything within me wanted to immediately cry out, "which stage are we in, and how many stages are there?" Instead, I simply agreed, "I'm enjoying this stage, too." And it was a nice stage (the only stage in that case).

I think I'm doing better at just enjoying the moments I have and not worrying too much about what lies ahead (or what doesn't lie ahead). It certainly makes the journey more enjoyable!

Truth (with a capital "T")

My last quotes (for now) from St. Augustine...

"Who teaches us? Only the unchangeable Truth. We can be admonished by a changeable creature. But the best a man can do is lead us to the unchangeable Truth. That is the only place where we can truly stand and hear and learn."

Isn't that true! As followers of Christ, our responsibility is to lead people to the Truth. So many times, we try to teach truth, or we try to learn truth from a million different sources around us. But, there is only one Truth. If we don't learn directly from Him, we risk being lead astray. We become those people who will gather around anyone who says what our "itching ears" want to hear.

If we claim to follow Christ, we can't neglect the constant and consistent reading of His Word and daily fellowship with Him in prayer.

Joy

"But Lord, keep me far from one error. May it be far from the heart of Your servant who here confesses unto You, that I should feel momentary earthly joy and suppose that I had reached true happiness. There is a joy that brings true happiness, but it is not given to the ungodly. It is only for those who love You for Your own sake.

That joy is to know You as You are. This is the happy life, to rejoice in You, of You, and for You. This is the happy life, and there is no other. They who think there is another, pursue some other. They are not on the track of true joy. Yet they still have that image of it inside that makes them run after what looks like some semblance of the real joy."

from The Confessions of St. Augustine

Body Parts

It always hurts when a body part is missing. What body part is missing, you ask? The heart.

The Mysterious Disappearance of the Green Notebook in the Night

Actually, I don't know that it disappeared during the night. In fact, I have no idea WHEN it disappeared. I just know that I'm looking for a green notebook that I haven't sought out for awhile (apparently). But, it has me very concerned at the moment. I've searched the house high and low. It's one of those things that always seems to be thrown here or there, or up on the shelf in the closet, or buried under a pile of papers, or sitting with my Bible. But, now that I'm looking, it's nowhere to be found. What had me looking at this moment was a poem I once wrote about sitting next to a Buddhist monk on an airplane flight. I'm pretty sure it was in that notebook.

At first I was just missing the poem. Now I'm thinking of some of the other things I had journaled about in that notebook... personal thoughts, things I was struggling through, relationships (yikes!), prayers, random poems. It's a bit disconcerting thinking there could be someone out there who picked up my journal and is now discovering the "secret life of Krista." Hrmmmm....

I don't know... maybe I'll run across it ten years from now when I'm moving some piece of furniture. Or, maybe I'll get to work next week and realize I left it there on a shelf. In the meantime, I'm missing it. And, until it's recovered, maybe I'll blame it on the burglars who broke into my home over a year and a half ago. (I don't think I've been missing it THAT long, but who can say for sure.)

But do me a favor... "if you happen to see the most beautiful green notebook in the world, tell it I love it" (and then please return it to me). I'll pay a handsome reward!

Need a Little Christmas...

I'm not sure why it would be that I have Christmas songs running through my head this week. Yesterday at work I was whistling a Christmas tune (though I can't remember which one), and this morning, I can't shake this one...

"Oh we need a little Christmas, right this very minute..."

Christmas in August, I guess. So... Merry Christmas (a little early), Everyone!

Confessions and Thanksgiving

"Receive my confessions and thanksgiving, O my God, for innumerable things whereof I am silent."

~ St. Augustine

Ember Dawn

My newest niece, Ember Dawn...


Mom & Dad were keeping Ember's older sisters (Erin & Avery) while Sarah & David were at the hospital. David called Mom this morning and asked to speak to Erin. She was the first to receive the official word of Ember's arrival, after which she spent some time (outdoors) announcing, at the top of her lungs, that she had a new baby sister!

It reminded me of way back when... when I was about a year younger than Erin. I remember receiving a phone call from my daddy (while I was staying at MY grandparents' house), telling me that I had a new "blond-haired, blue-eyed baby brother." His name? David Wayne.

Fig Trees

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior." Habakkuk 3:17-18

The Changing Faces of a Family

I'm back, and I survived! This weekend I attended a family reunion that's been in the works for at least a year and a half. Funny thing is... I'm not really even part of that family. It was my uncle's family. But, since he and my aunt were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, it was incumbent upon my immediate family (since my mother and aunt are sisters) to be there for the whole affair.

Friday night we had a cookout at my aunt & uncle's house as the family continued to trickle in. Most families sat with their immediate families, partially because they didn't know anyone else, and partially because their families were also trickling in from across the country. We didn't stay too late, so made our way back to Mom & Dad's pop-up camper to put the kids to bed. My brother and his wife had a convenient excuse not to come - they're expecting their third daughter within a couple of weeks. (I might have explored similar options had I thought about that 9 months ago!) For some reason, my sister thought it would be nice to take their two daughters with us. So, we "big kids" (John, Michelle & me) split up responsibilities for the three children (total, including their daughter, Natalie). In the end it went like this: Michelle was responsible for Natalie (her nearly 3 yr old daughter), John was responsible for Avery (the 2 yr old), and I was responsible for Erin (who is nearly 6). So, it was entertaining, for sure. The highlight was probably bathing. Since we were staying at an RV park, we would go up and take over the bath house for about an hour. The women's bath house consisted of two showers (each with a curtain) and three toilets with stalls that had no doors on them. (It was reminiscent of something from one of my recurring bathroom dreams.) So, it was quite a sight... naked girls (big and little) running around at various stages of bathing and dressing. The adults a bit more discrete, the children not at all.

The camper worked okay for sleeping... 2-3 per bed. Avery slept with Mom & Dad, Natalie with her parents and Erin with me (bed hog, as always). But, it got a little crazy when everyone was up and at 'em. We tried to keep the kids outside as much as possible, though there was at least one occasion we adults locked the KIDS in the camper. That proved to be a mistake, though, as Mom finally checked on them and found that they had stacked up four or five pillows so that they could reach the water faucet to try and get drinks or fill bottles or something.

The actual reunion was fine. They had activities going most of the day... entertainment by several family members, bingo, lots of food, even a few ice breaker type games. It was pretty neat that we all went to church with my aunt & uncle on Sunday morning. We packed out one side of the church with something like 60-80 people. I don't know if it was specifically planned, but the preacher gave a very evangelistic message.

I've learned that I've swapped roles at reunions. I think I actually DID use the line, "I haven't seen you since you were THIS big." (It was a sad, sad moment.) I learned, it's not only difficult to keep track of new births in the family, but we have several combined families, now. One cousin who has three kids married a woman who has four kids. Since they've been married, two of her kids have gotten married and one of his sons is engaged to a woman who already has three kids... one of which just had a baby with his high school girl friend. (Apparently none of the family knew of that baby until they showed up for the reunion. Another interesting note... that makes my second cousin a grandpa at the age of 25... or will, anyway, whenever he and his fiance get married.)

So, it was an entertaining trip after all. :) I survived my piano playing, too. The biggest hiccup was when one of my uncle's sisters-in-law came up to me (while I was playing) and announced she had the same piano arrangements I was playing. "Ah," I told her, "then you can identify every mistake I'm making." She kept talking, which distracted me, and finally I said something like, "I'm sorry... I'll have to talk to you later." I finally got back on track but had to play an additional 15 minutes due to people coming in late. So, I played nearly everything twice.

I'm breathing a sigh of relief today. I survived the family and made it safely back home!

Selfishness

I was reminded again today about how selfish I am. I'm just like one of those annoying and irrational kids, who fuss and pout when they don't get their way... or better yet... who ask for something but then are disappointed and complain when they DO get it. The tantrums look a little different at 33, but they're unattractive nonetheless.

Help me, Father, to let go of this one, too.