An Honest Grade Card

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! (‭Galatians‬ ‭5‬:‭22-23‬ NLT)

I memorized this one a long time ago, enough so it rolls off the tongue. Often I don't think much about what I'm saying when I recite the list, "love, joy, peace, patience..."

I've been thinking a lot about the fruit of the Spirit this week. I've been examining my own life and how I feel like I do in each of these areas. I've heard sermons/studies before about why it's the fruit (singular) of the Spirit versus the fruits (plural) of the Spirit. But, I can't reason that out in my mind tonight. I think it has something to do with the fact that we're not blessed with one or two fruits and lacking in others. Every believer has the FRUIT of the Spirit. We should have ALL of these qualities, in increasing quantities. (I'm going to pretend that's what it means. If I find out differently, I'll post on that another day.)

So, here's the grade card I give myself:

Love: C

I suppose it's easy to love those who love me. I'm not sure I excel at loving those who don't love me... or those who are very different than me.

Joy: B

I've made some improvements in this area. I remember a handful of years ago praying to be more joyful. Writing this is the first time I realized that God answered that prayer!

Peace: A

Over the years I've come to rest in that peace that "transcends all understanding" (Phil 4:6-7). I recognize worry as a sort of sin in my own life - a realization that I either don't trust God or don't believe he has good intentions toward me. I would never say those things with my mouth, so why should I live my life like I believe them?

Patience: A-

Eh. Always room to grow.  : )  I just asked my husband, and he said I get an "A."

Kindness: A

Is "kindness" the same as being "nice"? I was always the "nice" girl growing up. (Isn't that a sort of derogatory term these days?) Anyway, as I type this, I'm being reminded of the snide thoughts I was thinking about the women on the elevator with me today. 1) Why must people on the 2nd and 3rd floors take the elevator? There's nothing worse than having to stop on the 2nd floor so that someone can get on and ride down ONE floor. Stairs, people. Ever heard of them?

Then, they were walking slowly in front of me when they got off the elevator. Maybe they didn't see me, but why can't people be more self-aware. (I think the lack of self-awareness in people is a pet peeve of mine.)

So now I'm thinking I need to go back and address my grade on "kindness" AND "patience."  : )

Goodness: B

But, as Paul would say, there is no one who is good. The good I want to do, I do not do... In other words, only Christ in me is good.

Faithfulness: C

"Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love."  : (

Gentleness: C

It's difficult to carrry a work title of "Controller" and not be a little bit, um, gruff. In fact, I made a comment to my Assistant Controller today that "if someone needs help but can't make time to accept our help, that's on them." She said something like, "I wish you could teach me..." I finished her sentence, "to not care?" I told her that wasn't somethng to aspire to. I need her and others to balance me out, remind me to "care" even when I'm tempted to be done caring. Anyway, it reminded me that I still have some things to work on here.

Self-Control: C

This totally depends on the area of life. In some ways I'm incredibly disciplined. But, I've been highly frustrated lately at my lack of self-control when it comes to living healthy (eating right, exercising, etc.) and being productive in my evenings/weekends.

So, I scored lower than I expected going in. In summary: I have a lot of work to do.

Scratch that. The Holy Spirit still has a lot to do. I just need to be yielded to His work in my life.